"Yet ANOTHER Exercise in Self-Indulgence" - December 31, 2008 *Year Recap*

It’s the end of 2008 and quite frankly, I’m not happy.

Why do you ask? Well, these past 365 days were a massive 180 to what 2007 was. To be honest, I’m surprised that the year ended in such positive fashion, only because 2007 was so utterly horrendous, I really had the lowest expectations possible going into the New Year. But sometimes, low expectations call for great things. You don’t expect much to change, or much to happen, and then something surprises you. Before you know it, it’s another surprise after another surprise, all of which leaving their own special positive impact thus making for a very good year. Of course, when you end something on such a positive note, you always ask yourself, “If I had more time, what else could I have done?”

Part of the reason the year was so great is because I became a much stronger person, as far as accepting certain flaws as well as standing up for myself in specific situations. 2007 taught me a lot about things I needed to improve on in life, as far as fixing my pessimistic attitude, being the bigger person and trying to fix the relationship with my dad, understand why I’d failed in my relationships that past year, and work on getting my grades up in school. All of which, if you ask me, were overwhelming successes, and to be honest I attribute those four key factors as to why my 2008 will probably go down as the best year so far in the seventeen that I’ve seen. And I really don’t think I’m stretching it here.

I really do, honestly believe that I’m a tremendously different person than I was at the end of 2006, hell even the middle of 2007, because for the first time in my life I was willing to spend less time worrying about the little things and direct my focus to the big things around me. Believe It or not, that’s proven to be a much greater improvement of character than even I would’ve ever expected. Instead of worrying about “Oh, she doesn’t like me, what am I going to do,” these days I’ll just make an approach, and if it fails, you know what that means? To me, it essentially tells me that there’s another opportunity out there, and to be honest that’s an outlook I have every time I happen fail at something.

I’ve also mellowed out ridiculously. Sure I still have an obnoxious side but it’s nowhere near as apparent as it was, say, a year and a half ago. My obnoxiousness seems to have translated into more subdued, sharp-witted humor. How that happened, I don’t know, perhaps that’s another flaw that I had sub-consciously decided to fix, because I do realize it was a problem. Sure, a nickname like “Megaphone” comes around now and again, because I still haven’t completely gotten over that side of me (and probably never will) but I have it under so much better control than it used to be, and it’s really helped me socially.

One issue I still have is my low self-esteem, which translates to low confidence in certain situations I have to face in life. Granted, I have and probably always will view myself as a great person who seeks out the best in other people and always tries to help them with something in their best interest. But based on the events that occurred in 2007, my self-esteem took such a massive blow I haven’t been able to get over it, despite all the positives I’ve encountered. And it bothers me when I have people saying that I “shouldn’t have the problem because I’m such a wonderful person.” Honestly, I firmly believe that it’s a mental block you simply can’t just “get over.” It’s going to take awhile for me to overcome that. Funniest thing is, I’m a very ambitious person with a lot of goals that I want to reach. Which is a plus, because it shows that I’m starting to build up some personal confidence and realize that if I want to do something, I can make sure it’s done, no matter what the task may be.

So, the purpose of this whole thing is to recap the year, yes? Well, just like any story, you start from the beginning. I ended 2007 with a “it can’t get much worse than this” attitude, meaning that while I didn’t have drastically high expectations, I had a better feeling about the year in general. For the fifth year in a row, I spent my New Years by Dale’s place up in Chicago, which was a lot of fun. Shoveling with three hours left to go, counting down with Collective Soul on CBS that night. That was a particular New Years celebration I’ll have a difficult time forgetting, because it was the end of one of the darkest chapters in my life and the start of hopefully something better.

Well, we ended that stay on the second day of the year, with a fun trip to Chicago Ridge Mall with some friends (really just one, which was Marcella, since to be honest I haven’t been the biggest fan of really anyone else I met that day and still, am not, really). I took the ride home later that evening and, to my joy, realized that I still had a good five days left of my winter break. So I slept in and just relaxed, since I’d spent a long week up in Chicago as it was. Sadly, it was back to school the next week, but luckily, unlike the clusterfuck that was 2007, my final exams were actually before break, so the semester started with a clean slate. Which was nice, less for me to worry about over my vacation. Glad they decided to stick to that format.

Anywho, the rest of January was a bit of a drag, though I did have another successful haul at the Cubs Convention. I took off school that Friday and spent Thursday night at my uncle’s, and this worked in our favor, because we got there early enough for an Alfonso Soriano autograph and picture. Sure, he’s a flop and I can’t stand him, but you just cannot diminish the value of it! Also just the weekend following, there was a back and forth between Dale and I on the phone in the early afternoon, because he managed to get Rush tickets at the United Center for June 9th! Long wait, but damn well worth it. So, clearly, January was off to a solid start, which was definitely a lift to my spirits.

February was very bland. I’m sure you all remember my stories about February ’07 being a remarkable period of inspiration in my life, from getting closer to a beautiful girl to watching snow fall so majestically in a way I hadn’t seen it fall before. Wish I could say the same for this year. By this point, I just wanted the snow to go away, I had nothing special going on, and there was no Super Bowl excitement without the Bears there (although it was good to see the Giants kick some Patriot ass!). It just wasn’t the best month, and frankly I was just counting the days before spring would come along.

I’ll never forget one night, though. I went to Cait’s birthday party which was an absolute blast, although my night was ruined by my father coming home at four in the morning the following night without even calling after a party. That’s not the norm around here, so my mother and I were scared shitless. So even when I have a very fun evening, I couldn’t find solace that night. Felt like the same old shit happening again. Pretty much the only downside in the first two months of the year, so nothing too bad to complain about, really.

So we move on to March, which wasn’t that memorable either, to be honest. Although am I the only person who has those days that, no matter how insignificant they may be, you just remember them so ridiculously well? For some reason I remember St. Patrick’s Day vividly, as I spent that day with Laura, Cortez, Jess, and Dave, and we all saw “Horton Hears a Who” (why is it that movies between January and April always suck massively that your last resort is that?). Sweet movie for what it was worth, and a great day to boot.

Another bad experience was coming back from my uncle’s before Easter and having my dad embarrass me in front of them—second time in a month, mind you—thus causing my dad and I to not speak to each other for about a week, the longest feud we’ve ever had, which may have been the best thing for us. I really cannot think of a time since that incident when he and I have had a bad fight, when before it used to happen on a considerably consistent basis.

This leads us up to April, and still, no warm weather. Baseball season had begun, the fourth quarter of school had begun, and life was good. The Cubs showed promise and delivered on it early, my grades were solid, seriously, who was I to argue with how things were going? Though to be honest, it wasn’t as notable as April 2007 was, not as much going on. Rush’s new live CD came out in the middle of the month, which was definitely something to hold me over until the show in a couple months.

May was perfect as it usually is. School gets out later that month and you just keep the countdown tally going as to when you get the hell out of there (alright, so maybe I’m the only one who does that, so what?). Not to mention, summer plans start to get together, which makes the anticipation to leave so much worse, really.

Sophomore year was so far my best year of high school (so far, Junior year’s not measuring up) and really, may go down as one of the better years of my education life. Lots of memories, from Mr. Russell’s American Government class, to Mrs. Ireland’s Journalism course, and most of all, Mr. Kane’s Physical Science. Most of my memories come from that class, actually, primarily with Lauren, Stacey, Megan, and Mark. Though I gotta admit, sometimes it killed me to see someone who I still cared so strongly for despite everything that went down between her and I have some of the issues she did, and even worse me not knowing the purpose behind any of it.

May ended in positive fashion, school year ended positively, which led up to a very optimistic June. My last weekend in May I had taken a trip to Peoria to see the Chiefs, and that was a very good trip, despite the ending where I had to deal with a bout of food poisoning when I got home. Amazing free breakfast my ass!

Anywho, I had so much planned the month of June, and really had myself booked up for the first three weekends back in late April. Lucky for me, none of those plans fell through; all of them were resounding successes. My summer essentially began with Laura’s birthday party, which was a whole lot of fun seeing certain people and meeting new ones in the process. The next day we went to my sister’s 8th grade graduation dinner, where my uncle graciously gave me tickets to the Cubs vs. Braves game on June 10th, and also gave me Brewers tickets for a trip he and I would take up there in late July. So my summer started off essentially, well, perfectly.

So, the rest of the week was just used to relax. I went to Max’s birthday party that Friday which he had graciously set on that day because I was leaving for a week in Chicago the following day. That was another great experience, just playing football, having a bonfire, and messing around with friends. I remember sitting out on Max's porch with Laura waiting for our ride, staring at the sky and just talking about life. That was a great evening. But the fun was just beginning.

That Saturday, which was June 7th, Dale and his folks picked me up at my place late in the evening, in a very hot, muggy late spring evening (unseasonably warm, guess the heat was compensating for the winter that overstayed it’s welcome, eh Al Gore!?). This would be the start of an outstanding week in Chicago, which started off with Dale and I just messing around and resting. The next day was pretty much the same thing, since the weather was bad and much of it was spent mellowed out in the house. Though we did have an interesting walk to Arby’s that day, where we saw a ton of older friends in unexpected places. But that’s about it.

The following day was the day of the Rush show we’d waited four months for, and to be honest the long wait really paid off. Since Dale was at band early, I got to sleep in until 10:30. First time I ever slept past eight in his house, haha. I entertained myself with my Nintendo 64 while he was gone, but when he came back we headed to Burger King and swiftly headed back home. We met up with our good pal Ray around 4:30 (later than we wanted, but he had work, so it’s forgiven) after doing some yard work in the rain, and left for the United Center about a half hour later after spending time to search for directions. We had dinner at this God-awful place called Moretti’s (thanks a lot, Rush fans!) since it was right by the venue, and got to the United Center around 7:10, just a half hour before estimated show time, so we were behind schedule. I won’t indulge into how the show was, except the fact that it was perhaps the best show I’d seen in my life (I know I said that about Rush last September, but it’s not my fault they just keep getting better!).

So after returning back from a very long day, we both hit the hay early, especially considering I had a very long day ahead of me following that. On that next day, I left Dale’s around two, because Sean, my uncle and I had to get to Wrigley Field to see batting practice at the Cubs / Braves game. What a great game, too! Cubs won 10-5 no thanks to Home Run Howry and thanks to a three-run jack by Geovany Soto. That game was a blast, and after returning home, the next few days were leisure days. I pretty much helped my uncle around the house, watched the Cubs’ 1948 game with my grandma (she’s a huge Cubs fan, thanks to my late-grandfather), etc. But I’d headed to Sean’s place on that Friday; we went to the White Sox / Rockies game at U.S. Cellular Field that evening and had a blast.

The next day we pretty much decided to relive nostalgia for the majority of it. We helped out in removing the pool cover of a family friend of theirs that morning, then went swimming, and eventually spent a good four hours playing All Star Baseball 2000 and FIFA World Cup ’98 on the N64. It’s what we did when we were young lads, so that was a nice time to revisit. After a great dinner from his mother, we watched some baseball, played MLB 2K8, I showed him the Tourette’s Guy video and had him crying at how funny it was, and then we retired. Due to a baseball game he had the next day, I had to leave. I returned to my uncle’s, we watched the Cubs against the Blue Jays in Toronto, and then I headed home. My long, phenomenal week had come to a close. I’m sure you’re all glad, I indulged into that more than I should’ve, haha.

The rest of June was a drag, except when I got Motley Crue tickets for the second row in mid-July! Also, very suddenly Dale and I made plans to head up to Summerfest on the first day of July in Milwaukee to see O.A.R. (we wanted to see Rush again, but we couldn’t get up there that day). I came up on June 30th, we played baseball, had some dinner, I had some fun with the neighbors while he was at band that evening. When he came back, we just hung out on the porch (after chasing his ass around for throwing a drum stick at my foot), enjoyed the mid-70s early-summer weather while listening to the Sox game, and headed back to play Mario Kart in his basement. We eventually ended up playing MVP 05 on the GameCube and doing our own broadcast, stacking my camera on about 20 different VHS cases. We watched Whose Line is it Anyway for the rest of the evening and went to sleep at four, only to wake up at eight.

The next day was when we left for Summerfest. Not much to say about that, really. We arrived at 2:15, set up the camper, and headed to the festival grounds. Saw some great bands, had much nicer weather (unlike the 100+ degree day we had in 2007), partied with the folks at the O.A.R. show (many Illinois folks, actually), just a great day. The marijuana scent in the air was a fond reminder as to why outdoor festival concerts are such a blast, haha. We retired to the camper around 12:30 and hit the hay. We left early the next day to return home, to which I had another busy day ahead of me. I would be picked up by my family, and we headed to Taste of Chicago. Great experience, the rain was nice, to be honest, and the Cubs were playing in the West Coast so I wasn’t going to miss it thanks to the late start. Probably the most exhausting day of the summer though, two major festivals in two days ain’t easy on you, trust me.

Fourth of July was uneventful (good, I needed a break) and for the most part didn’t do much until the middle came around. Went to Dave’s party on the 12th which was a ton of fun, and also had the MLB All Star Game three days later (which really I didn’t care much for). The next day was Cruefest in the second row with Cortez, which was a hell of a time. Talked to some of the titty cam girls (got one’s number, but haven’t spoken to her since July, haha), interacted with the band, and just had an awesome time, one of the best concerts I’ve had the pleasure of attending. Following that show, my dad and I went to a Chicago Fire game that Saturday, the 19th, which ended in a tie. But a Fire game in the second row in beautiful weather, with Toyota Park being ten minutes from the place you used to proudly call home? Come on now, that’s a great feeling.

July ended with that trip my uncle and I took up to Milwaukee. Saw the Police again and two Brewers games (one win, one loss), and also went up to Germanfest, which was pretty nice. For the most part it was a nice relaxing getaway, despite having to deal with seeing the Brewers who I have tremendous respect for briefly take over first place in the Central in front of my eyes (didn’t last long, since we destroyed ‘em in a sweep the next week). We returned that Sunday the 27th, watched the Cubs game, then I helped him with some of my grandmother’s plants later that evening accompanied by an unusual accordion player down the street (I’ll tell you, as dorky as it sounds, the melodies he was playing were so beautiful, it fit the mood of a mid-summer evening back in your “hometown” absolutely perfectly. That’s a very fond memory I have). That Monday we headed to Navy Pier to see “The Dark Knight” in IMAX, followed by Harry Caray’s for dinner. The next day my uncle and I accompanied by Sean went to the minor league game between Peoria and the Kane County Cougars at Wrigley Field, which was such a corporate sell-out game, I was simply appalled. Only National City execs could get a Ryne Sandberg autograph instead of us fans who waited an hour and a half for it? Thanks a lot, assholes.

So, I returned home on the 30th, which effectively ended my July in prime fashion. August showed promise, well, at least half of it with school starting. On August 5th the family headed up to Wrigley Field once again to see the Cubs take on Houston, which was a wonderful comeback victory courtesy of an Alfonso Soriano three-run homer (I still don’t like him). That was a great day, but another very exhausting one. To be honest by this point I was actually beginning to get worn out. I spent the last free week I had sleeping in, watching the Cubs against Atlanta, savoring every free minute I had left. School began on the 15th which was a major drag, but to be honest it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected.

I also was lucky enough to reunite with someone towards the end of the month who’d left one of the most significant impacts on my life, even though I’m sure she’d be modest enough not to think so. Our relationship had been rocky for several reasons which had all been cleared up eventually, and frankly this was one of the higher points as far as personal relationships are concerned for the entire year. She knows who she is, and I’m very glad to say things are evened out between us.

September was a bore. Really, I don’t even have that much to say. I did see one of the best Cub games of my life that month, on September 18th against Milwaukee, which was a come-from-behind win taken to twelve innings. We all knew the Cubs were going to clinch the NL Central, that was pretty much the only exciting thing about it. That happened on Homecoming day, which was also nothing really special (though I did have an awesome, humorous discussion with Stacey that night, despite the subject matter). Honestly, that’s about it. Shame, huh?

October, on the other hand, had proven to be more entertaining, though because of my primary focus on school I had a difficult time doing as many cool things as I had been doing for most of the year. My month started negative, not so much personally though. I went to NLDS Game 1 at Wrigley Field between the Cubs and Dodgers, and any baseball fan knows how that one ended. Mark DeRosa got the big two-run homer, but then we allowed seven runs losing, as you can imagine, 7-2. This was the beginning of the end, as we would lose the next two games and were swept out of postseason contention. Lazy bastards. 97 wins are absolutely meaningless when you can’t win ONE SINGLE PLAYOFF GAME!

The rest of the month was considerably busy. My parents’ anniversary was on the 10th, and the next weekend was my uncle’s birthday dinner. I don’t get many chances to eat prime rib, but if I get the chance to do so two weeks in a row, who am I to complain!? Anywho, I basically spent two weeks following that anticipating my birthday, which was on the 29th. Better than I’d expected despite being on a Wednesday. Got the new Madden game, NHL 09, a box of Upper Deck baseball cards, a Blackhawks hoodie, tickets to get autographs from Mark Grace and Lou Piniella in November, and best of all, AC/DC tickets for that Saturday! It was a great birthday, much to my surprise.

So naturally, November began with the AC/DC show, which was one of the best shows I’d seen in my life. I swear, between both Rush shows, Cruefest, AC/DC, Sammy Hagar on stage, Collective Soul from the seventh row, and Genesis the past couple years, I’ve seen some of the best shows I ever have in my nine years of concert-going. But AC/DC were stellar, great setlist, great energy. Just not the best venue in the world, but hey, can’t be perfect, can it?

The next few weeks would be a drag, watching Kyle Orton get hurt (and rushed back to play way too quickly) for the Bears, dealing with stresses of school, etc. However, on the weekend of November 21, I went to stay up by my uncle’s to meet the aforementioned baseball figures from my birthday. That was a successful weekend, saw a ton of autographed memorabilia, even met AL Rookie of the Year Evan Longoria on a quick last-minute decision. That was a hell of a weekend, of course I came home on the 23rd and had to take school off the next day because I had another bout with food poisoning. Funny, in seventeen years of life I only had to deal with it once, and this year alone I had it twice. Damn.

Anyway, in just a matter of days, in time for Thanksgiving break, I returned up to my uncle’s to help with Christmas decorations and such. Thanksgiving with the family was nice, no complaints about that. The following day my uncle and I went doorbusting, which was a lot of fun. Spent about three hours out shopping around, and when we got back to the house, we picked up my grandma, had breakfast, and immediately started putting up Christmas decorations. It was probably one of the busier days of the year, because I woke up at three in the morning and went to sleep at eleven that night. The next couple days were relaxing, went downtown to my uncle’s for the morning, finally saw “Quantum of Solace” (which I’d end up seeing three more times), and returned home. The rest of the weekend was spent secluded, for the most part, watching college football and hockey. It was a nice getaway.

But all good things must come to an end, eh? I had to go back to school starting right at the beginning of December, but luckily it was only three more weeks until vacation. Not much really went down throughout the course of the month until vacation came around, to be honest. I was absolutely drained down the stretch, getting sore, and working too damn hard for my own good. But certain positive aspects came out of it, definitely. Especially the start of a vacation I, and I’m sure many others, so desperately needed.

Vacation began on December 19 in a somewhat unusual day with school. We had a huge ice / snow storm that night and I expected school to be cancelled (which I didn't want, last thing I needed was to have to come back from vacation and take a final exam). I got to sleep late, school started two hours later, so I woke up at 8:30, watched Spin City for the first time in ages, and went to school. Very good day, and a great way to kick-off my vacation.

Not much went down until Christmas, and let me just say, Christmas was a BLAST. Got tons of stuff, lots of Cubs paraphernalia, such as a new alternate blue Mark Grace jersey, a 2008 plaque for my wall, and autographs of Ryan Dempster, Ryan Theriot, Carlos Marmol, Mark DeRosa, and for unusual measure, CC Sabathia in a Brewers uniform. Also got Blackhawks tickets for January 4th, a new DVD/VCR, a new digital camera, music, the Genesis 1983-1998 box set. I got a massive haul this year and I'm damn proud of that.

The next few days were a drag, not much happened until I saw Jeff Dunham last night with my dad up in Rosemont. That was a very funny experience, Dunham is easily one of the funniest people in the business today. Worth the $50, definitely. "Taste a Vagina!"

So tonight, we arrive at. Today I woke up at noon, went to my grandma's for awhile, and then proceeded to go by Dale's place for our traditional New Years celebration. Who knows what we'll be doing tonight. Probably head to Chuck's after his haircut, then watch the Snakes & Arrows DVD for the first time since I got it last month, and ring in the New Year with a visit to the guys at Pirate radio. Afterwards we'll probably run around the block throwing Triscuits around like confetti, because that's just the kinda guys we are. And before you know it, it'll be 2009!

There you have it. The end of 2008 and a damn fine summary of it, if I must say so myself. I’m gonna miss this year. So many things happened, and really this summary is just about as long as last year’s, much to my surprise it may actually be shorter. But I believe I summed it up nicely. All four goals were accomplished: Improve things with my dad, keep my grades better, my pessimism is almost non-existent, and I’ve learned from relationships how to improve myself. Mission accomplished.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES IN 2008, AND CAPITALIZE ON THEM IN 2009.

I will extend it though, to give a few shout-outs to those who made this past year what it was. I simply cannot have you all read such ridiculous self-indulgence without throwing out a few thank yous in the process. Last year I basically just gave a “Thanks a lot, you know who you are,” but this year is different. This year would not go down as one of the best I’ve been lucky enough to have experienced without these people on the list, and I honestly would feel very poorly if I didn’t extend my gratitude to these special people.

Dale – Another year in the books, and another year of awesome music, videos, and stories to tell down the road. There’s a reason you’ve been my best friend going-on thirteen years, and if this year wasn’t an example of that, from the Rush show to Summerfest to another classic New Years celebration, then I really don’t know what is. Thanks a lot, buddy, you deserve it.

Sean – My other longest-lasting friend, who deserves a shout out as well. We didn’t chill as much as we wanted to this past year, but nevertheless, the times we did were just great. Someday we’ll get those usher jobs at Wrigley and I’ll be seeing you everyday, but until then, what was accomplished this past year was great. Thanks, man.

Brian – Brian, my good friend, off to college and away from here. All I have to say is “You lucky bastard!” Hope life’s treating you well and I have to admit, I miss my daily Freddy Bynum joke around here. Take care, man, you’ve been missed. Keep on rockin’ through the night, my friend!

Laura – You were there since the start of the year, and what’s sad is I haven’t seen you as much as I’d hoped toward the end of the year. But we had some good memories, from the movies to your party to talking before school everyday. Thanks for contributing. You've been one of the best friends a guy like me could ask for and I'm proud I can say that.

Marcella – My amazing Asian sister. I know I lose my temper with you and the things you do, but you know the reasons I do. While I don’t see you as much as I’d like, I saw you more than I expected to this year, and those were fun times. So thank you, and take care of my best friend for me *wink*

Stacey – I know you only contributed to about a third of the year, but you still deserve something. Why? You said in a survey that you didn’t think you made a difference in anyone’s life, but you’ve made a significant one in mine, whether you believe it or not. You taught me a lot about myself that I didn’t know two years ago which helped me become who I am today and I thank you for that, and it’s good to have the Stacey from before back in my life these days. Your dedication was longer than the others because I didn’t get the chance to thank you last year. You've become one of my very best friends despite our history, and I'm very happy about that.

Max – We haven’t talked recently man, but I gotta say it was a good year, especially towards the end of German last year. Miss ya this year bro, take care of yourself, and keep kickin’ ass with Martial Law!

Auston – Good to be seeing you everyday again, man. You’ve always been a quality friend, always helped me out with stuff, and always provided a good conversation. Thanks man.

Cait – I know towards the end of the year we didn’t talk so much, except around the playoff time with our Cubs / Sox battles, but for the first half we kept in touch a lot and I know I tried to help you with a lot of things. Thanks for continuing to make the Cubs / Sox rivalry interesting, I look forward to next season.

Lauren - You deserve a dedication as well, you've become a very valuable friend to me and I completely respect everything you've done for me and helped me with over the past year. Not many are willing enough to take time out and do that, so thank you.

Of course, along with the thank yous I could extend a couple of fuck yous as well, but I’ve decided to stay classy and let the past remain the past.

So, forecast for 2009? None of us really know, I sure as hell didn’t expect to make so much progress personally this year, but I did. I’m going into 2009 optimistically, though not with too many high expectations. If I learned anything from this past year it was to never get your hopes up too high, because you may just be disappointed. If you go in with low or moderate expectations, things may end up better than you’d expect. That was my mentality throughout 2008, and it turned out to be one hell of a year. Screw 2009 being a "new beginning" for me, as far as I'm concerned 2009 is just a higher number, for me it's essentially going to be a continuation of 2008, hopefully keeping things on the high they're currently at.

Question marks going into the New Year: Will my Cubs finally learn and maybe win a damn playoff game? Will I finally get to see the Bruce Springsteen for the first time? Which friends are going to continue to stand by me? Will I find a relationship and be able to stabilize it? Who knows?

Being a very nostalgic person for much of my life, especially this year with the Nintendo 64 abuse, viewing of old Cubs games on VHS, and catching up with some old friends, I’d like to leave with a random lyric I wrote, one of my favorites. It’s uplifting, and it’s about positive reflection on life, from a piece I submitted to school for Visions.

“So at these crossroads, we return
To the days that we conquered the world.
We were kings in our own memories
As those times in life fade to history.”

This is Zach, signing off for 2008. It’s been a riot, and you were there for the experience. Thank you all, take care, and have a great night!

-Zach

"Trip Down Memory Lane: Top 15 Video Games" - December 18, 2008

As everyone is already very well aware of, I'm a ridiculously nostalgic person. A major part of my past, however far back that may indeed extend, would be video games. Talk about a central focus of my life for so many years. I'll always remember living in Chicago and going to a buddy's house to play Nintendo 64, which was typically the norm if you weren't out playing baseball or basketball. What's funny is, those were the days when beating Perfect Dark was the most difficult thing was going on in your life (which I need to buy on eBay).

I've worked on these "Top 15" lists in the past, did 'em seemingly religiously at the beginning of the year (before life started getting more in the way), and while I still have three finals to take tomorrow, I thought I'd ease myself of some stress with a trip down memory lane. Whether it be recent or from the past, these are games almost all of you should know, as these defined our generation and sometimes those after us. I can't make a universal "Top 15" list, so this is essentially my personal favorite 15 video games of all-time. Let's begin.

#1 - Goldeneye 007 (Nintendo 64, 1997) - Single-handedly the most addictive game I've ever played in my entire life. A game who's gameplay is so modern, who's graphics were stellar for the time, who made a first-person shooter more than just killin' bitches in your way. Find me one guy my age who didn't own and enjoy this game, I dare you. It's based on the 1995 James Bond film Goldeneye, and the game is ridiculously accurate toward the movie's storyline. 17 different levels (19 if you unlock "Egyptian" and "Aztec"), all of which maintaining different objectives to make each level more difficult than the last (my favorite being, easily, Statue Park). This game has been with me through everything, whether it be preparing for basketball practice or simply just using it to relieve some stress (recently, for example).

#2 - Super Mario 64 (Nintendo 64, 1996) - This is a game that shouldn't be omitted from any video game list. It's a seemingly never-ending quest to find 120 stars throughout the game and defeat your enemy Bowser three times, first time Mario ever did it in 3D. Clever levels, interesting storyline, and complex challenges that no matter how many times you beat the game, always make you want to do it again.

#3 - Pokemon Red and Blue (Nintendo Game Boy, 1998) - Yeah, I know this is the "lame" answer, but back ten years ago, there wasn't a single person who wasn't playing one of these games. And they were always exciting: Say you beat the Elite Four, you still needed to catch more Pokemon. The game never ended, even though (by research) it's a fact that you can't catch every single one (unless one has a Gameshark). I recently broke out my Red version just for kicks and I swear I couldn't put it down! Gold was always my favorite, but Gold would've never existed without these two, which sufficiently held me over for a couple years before the release of Gold. Pokemon Stadium (N64, 2000) won't make the list, but deserves honorable mention. Great game as well.

#4 - Kingdom Hearts (PlayStation 2, 2002) - A game that I still think doesn't receive it's due from the public, I always thought it was brilliant. Not to mention, the shit gets REALLY hard after awhile. Hollow Bastion is probably my favorite level / world in ANY video game, because along with it's absolutely beautiful design, the story really starts to unfold. I spent DAYS trying to beat Riku, for Christ's sake! The game was always a challenge, I was lucky enough to beat End of the World with the Ultima Weapon after several tries. You know what? I haven't played this in awhile, actually...

#5 - Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex (PlayStation, 1998) - The sequal to the magnificent 1996 debut, the game seems more appealing solely based on the fact that the story is easier to understand and characters are given more interesting personalities. I couldn't tell you how many times I collected every crystal but could hardly get the gems, haha. Still, awesome game, still have it, too. May give that one a spin tonight.

#6 - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Nintendo 64, 1998) - Yes, I realize it's not #1 on my list, like it is everywhere else. But it's there, which in itself is impressive enough. I'd spent endless days in the winter of 1998 playing this one, and if I wasn't playing it, I was organizing my 1998 Collector's Choice baseball cards while watching my mother play it. What a fun game, easily the best of the Zelda series (coming in very close would be "Wind Waker). Got the GameCube version of it with Master Quest, which is hard as shit, but nevertheless, exciting.

#7 - Banjo-Kazooie (Nintendo 64, 1998) - Outside of Goldeneye this was the Rare corporation's shining moment. It's a stupid bear with an annoying, smart-ass bird in it's backpack who can fly both around at will. How brilliant is that? Not to mention, the storyline flows very well, for such a silly concept the game has moments that are just ridiculously hard. The game pretty much out-does any sequel made from it, hands down.

#8 - Spyro The Dragon (PlayStation, 1997) - People often overlook the Spyro series and I never understood why. It's this cute dragon with a vicious interior, kinda like that small dog or cat all of us had once owned in our lifetimes. Interesting plot, nice graphics for it's time. Basically all your doing is shooting fire at the asses of anything that gets in your way, and if you can't burn it, ram it! Great game, underrated too.

#9 - Final Fantasy VII (PlayStation, 1997) - I remember how difficult this game was being only five years old at the time of it's release, but in reality, after re-visiting it several times after that, I pretty much came to the conclusion that the game really does live up to it's hype. One of the best video game stories I'd ever experienced and possibly the most well-done RPG of all-time. No one should overlook this one.

#10 - Sonic Adventure / Sonic Adventure 2: Battle (SEGA Dreamcast / Nintendo GameCube, 1999 / 2001) - Sonic the Hedgehog is probably my favorite video game character of all-time. I remember playing the original game on Sega Genesis when I was at least four years old (still have the Genesis, no idea how to hook it up). We sold the Genesis around '96, but when I got the Dreamcast in 2000 it was a BLAST playing as Sonic again. Not to mention, it's a great story, easy to follow (unlike the latest installment, blech!), and the missions are pretty classic Sonic. Love this game, wish my Dreamcast hadn't crapped out on me. It's sequel was just as good, if not better, introducing Shadow Sonic and also focusing more on individual storylines.

#11 - Tom Clancy: Splinter Cell (XBOX, 2002) - I got an XBOX for Christmas 2002, and I remember instantly by dad bought this game for the both of us on December 26. At the time, there was no other game like it. It was much more than just a first-person shooter; it was a strategic, complex, and thusly, interesting game.

#12 - Halo 2 (XBOX, 2004) - Very fond memories of this game, clearly one of which playing it in my CCA class after every lesson with just about everyone there Freshman year. The Halo series defines this generation, much like Goldeneye did seven years prior, and anyone who hasn't played or owned one has really been missing out.

#13 - Super Smash Bros. (Nintendo 64, 1999) - Why not higher on the list? I'm well aware that it's a favorite of just about everyone I know, but frankly I've always been a fan of storyline-oriented games. Regardless, you guys have no idea how many sleepless nights I spent playing this one when it first came out. Melee and Brawl were great sequels, excellent even, but the first will always be the ultimate one. Awesome.

#14 - Rayman (PlayStation, 1995) - The oldest game to be on the list, and definitely deserving of it. Rayman is just a...weird...thing, who goes through ridiculously unusual obstacles in order to complete the game. I've never fully finished it, because sometimes it gets so bizarre you just kinda lose focus. I swear, someone HAD to be on LSD when they made this one, haha. Great game, though, and often forgotten due to it's subpar-to-awful sequels.

#15 - Yoshi Story (Nintendo 64, 1998) - My Nintendo history ain't as good as it used to be, but I don't recall any game revolving around the lovable dinosaur Yoshi. What a "cute" game, if you will. Interesting plot, with Yoshi inevitably having to defeat Baby Bowser at the end. It takes the form of a standard NES Mario game for the most part, just with 3D graphics, which is what makes it so interesting. Great plot, great game.

Games of honorable mention (due in part because I didn't want to add racing or party games) - Mario Kart 64 and Double Dash, Diddy Kong Racing, Crash Team Racing, Mario Party 1 and 2.

Now, I finished that list, but what I'm sure everyone knows about me is, I'm also an avid sports fan. Thus, I take a strong liking to sports games, as one is able to control the progress of a team in a season, franchise, or just an exhibition game. I'm going to list two games each for baseball, basketball, and football, just to balance it out. I could list many more, but don't see much sense in it.

Baseball:

Major League Baseball featuring Ken Griffey Jr. (Nintendo 64, 1998) - The simplest yet quite possibly the most exciting baseball game ever made. I love season mode where you can pretty much rape an opposing team 28-0, and how they would never sub out their pitcher anyway. I've probably thrown about ten perfect games (just threw one with Pat Hentgen last weekend against Texas), but only because I've played it so many times. This game's been through just about everything with me, and if it were on the initial list of 15 it'd probably come in at #2. Christ, I'd wake up at 5:30 in the morning sometimes, just to play this game.

All Star Baseball 05 (XBOX, 2004) - MVP 05 came out the following year and I have no problem admitting like everyone else it was probably the best baseball game ever made. That said, I've always had a soft spot for the ASB series (I own every game, except 99), and this game was the best of them all. Great graphics, excellent commentary, easy gameplay. I spent many mornings in the Summer of '04, counting the days before moving out of Chicago, playing this one in my basement. Shame this was the last of the series, they were really starting to make great progress with their games. We can thank Acclaim Sports for not paying their royalties.

Basketball:

Kobe Bryant's NBA Courtside (Nintendo 64, 1998) - Same creators as Ken Griffey Jr. MLB, ironically enough, and this game was just as great. Realistic gameplay, awesome rosters of the time (w/ player photos, something Griffey MLB lacks). I'll always remember Michael Jordan's player being listed as "Roster Player" with jersey number 98. Funny stuff. Excellent game.

The 2K Sports Series (Sega Dreamcast / XBOX, 1999-Present) - Very rarely would I single out one group, but these games always seem to be getting better, release after release. The game easily had the best sports graphics ever upon it's initial release in winter 1999, which added towards it's appeal. 2K sports hardly disappoints with their games, but the NBA series has probably been their most consistent.

Football:

Madden 99 (Nintendo 64, 1998) - I remember this one so fondly. I often recall going over to Sean's regularly and just churning this one out as long as we possibly could, until we had to eat or I had to go home. This is around when the Madden series was becoming THE series to play for NFL football games, and what a way to start. Always nice to play a throwback game at the Pontiac Silverdome or Old Soldier Field, eh?

ESPN NFL 2K5 (XBOX, 2004) - When baseball season ended and I wore out ASB05, this game took over. Almost every morning in the winter of 2004 going into 2005, I would play this game. The franchise mode was stellar, the graphics were so far ahead of their time, which added to it's appeal. Possibly the best "Swan Song" of all sports games, since after this one Madden bought out 2K Sports' NFL rights. Excellent game.

Honorable Mention: FIFA World Cup '98, the Tiger Woods golf series, Nagano Winter Olympics '98, Wayne Gretzky NHL Hockey.

There you have it, that was a fucking fun list to make! Talk about a trip down memory lane indeed, I'm gonna have to break out some of these this weekend. Any omissions on my end, let me know. I'd love to see what else you guys would add on to this.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, should hold over well until my New Years post.

-Zach

"Step Into Christmas With Me" - November 30, 2008

Winter's officially here, folks (to me, if it snows, its winter,), and to be honest, it feels great! Let's just hope it doesn't decide to over-stay its welcome like it did last year...

This is a great time of year. Really, if you were to ask me, its probably the best time of the year outside of late June / early July. Its the time after Thanksgiving but before Christmas, the magical period of anticipation to one of the finest holidays of the entire year. Its romantic, the kind of time where you just want to take someone you love into downtown Chicago and just admire the sights, no matter how long you're up there or how many times you've passed up the same attraction. Its a season of giving, a time when you just feel the need to put your selfish desires on the shelf and do something generous for people who don't have the means to do for themselves.

I love it, folks. I'm sure that's pretty obvious, really. This is the time where I can actually ENJOY the snow, a time where I won't complain how cold it is (unless its unseasonably cold, which is has been all month). Not to mention, hockey season is now in full swing, NCAA men's basketball begins, BCS standings become more clear, and football heads into its final quarter before the playoffs. The ONLY downside to this is the fact that my #1 sport of Major League Baseball is done for another three months until the World Baseball Classic on March 5 (four months until Opening Day on April 6). Other than that, I have no real complaints.

I'd like to apologize for not having a personal update on myself over the past two months (I didn't live up to my promise of a blog a month, though I'm being rather self-centered; I'm sure none of you actually give two shits about it), regardless, I found some free time, and I want to cover some ground before I end the year with a bang...well, as far as blogs are concerned.

Last time I posted was, when, September 29? Well, amidst the anticipation of the Cubs in the postseason, I'm sure EVERYONE knows how that fucking disaster ended. You never wanted to say it, but at times during the regular season you would quietly say to yourself "You know, this may finally be our year." But its just proof that 97 wins doesn't mean shit in the playoffs, especially when you get swept by a team with 84. So, that ruined my interest in the National League, but in the AL I found extreme interest in the Rays, who sadly couldn't keep their miraculous run going the whole way and lost the World Series to those damned Phillies. I haven't had a World Series go my way until 2004...

October was a solid month, really. Nothing specifically noteworthy occurred, just a fun, relaxing time in life. Lots of events, such as my parents' anniversary, my uncle's and sister's birthdays, and of course, my own birthday. It was nice from my uncle and grandma, got some new XBOX games and a giant, framed Lou Piniella photo (signed, mind you), among other things. From my parents, I got a new Blackhawks hoodie and tickets to see AC/DC, which ended up being one of the best concerts I'd ever seen.

November, as always, was a very solid month, quite possibly one of the best of the year. A very quiet first few weeks, thats for sure, just a couple big events that I'm going to save for my blog at the end of the year. Last weekend, I was lucky enough to head to a memorabilia convention in Rosemont and met Mark Grace, Lou Piniella, Evan Longoria, and Ryan Theriot, all personal favorite baseball figures of mine at one point or another. That was definitely a pleasant experience, no doubt.

This past Thanksgiving weekend was spent with my uncle and grandma. I got a nice pay-day for assisting in putting up decorations and the christmas tree (it sounds easy, but not with these people, trust me). I was also able to get Family Guy Season 5, Rush's new Snakes & Arrows Live DVD, among other smaller things. It was a nice, fulfilling trip. Also went doorbusting on Friday morning, which was absolutely insane, and I was completely worn out by the end of the day. Nevertheless, worth it I'd say.

I have no complaints, and I don't want to say too much because I always like more detail in my wrap-up at the end of the year. All I can say is keep an eye out for it, I'll probably start writing it in a couple weeks, honestly. I don't plan these blogs ahead, this one I plan intensely, because it has to be PERFECT. I know it sounds silly, but being the perfectionist that I am, this has to be the big bang for me, and in order for me to feel fulfillment, this needs to be great. Crazy, I know. But thats just me!

So, until December 31, unless I decide to pull off a filler sometime in between, I bid you all adieu. Farewell!

-Zach

"Let Chicago Be Rocked" - AC/DC Review, November 1, 2008

When you think of iconic rock acts, who are the first to come to mind? The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, naturally. But if you're willing to overlook AC/DC, despite whatever opinions you may hold on them, I'd be inclined to say you're out of your mind.

Twenty-five years ago, AC/DC were one of the world's largest touring acts, probably around this time in support of their 1983 release Flick of the Switch. As most music fans know, hardly any bands who maintained such success through the 1970s, 1980s, and much of the 1990s would be able to keep it up in today's music scene without hitting the county fair or amphitheater circuit years ago.

But AC/DC, much like the majority of their careers, are an exception to that rule. Just last week, the Australian metal band's fourteenth studio release Black Ice stormed to #1 on the Billboard Top 200 charts selling 800,000 copies in it's first week. The band beat out the soundtrack to High School Musical 3 by nearly a whopping 550,000 copies, skyrocketing as the #2 US release of 2008. If you're a rock band who's been on the circuit for 34 years and can dominate a universal hit like HSM by such a staggering total, you just know you're doing something right.

My folks and I, for years, have said that we would attend an AC/DC concert whenever they came to Chicago, regardless of the cost. When tickets went on sale on September 20, the tickets for October 30 at the Allstate Arena sold out instantly (no surprise, since AC/DC are a universal favorite amongst music fans everywhere). Luckily for my father who was trying to get them, a November 1 date popped up on Ticketmaster and instantly grabbed them. Of course, I didn't know about this until my birthday on the 29th, when I got a ticket of my own. So, my mother, father, and I were headed to the Allstate Arena in Rosemont that Saturday.

After a brief stop at the Hinsdale Oasis for dinner, we arrived at the Allstate at 6:00 p.m., and hung around in the car until gates opened at 6:30. The Allstate Arena isn't the nicest venue out there; its like a maze getting around the place and took awhile for us to find our seats, but when we did it was smooth sailing. I picked up a cool shirt specifically for the Chicago dates, their No Bull DVD filmed in 1996, and some glowing horns that fans wore on their heads.

A band from Ireland called The Answer opened up the show, not half bad to be honest. Shortest opening act I'd ever seen though, going on for about twenty-five minutes before being booted off. Fans had a half hour to head to the restrooms (which were a nightmare in themselves, trust me), get any refreshments, buy souvenirs, etc. AC/DC's stage time was to be 8:30 on the dot.

They weren't kidding. At 8:30 sharp, the lights went out, and the X-rated intro video on the locomotive began to air on the big high definition screen at center stage (won't spoil it for those who intend on going to see them anytime soon). As it ended, the band broke into their first song, which coincidentally was the first single off Black Ice, "Rock N' Roll Train." The fans went insane, and weren't afraid to sing every word to the newest addition to AC/DC's hit collection. Following that was a fan favorite from the former-and-late vocalist Bon Scott era, "Hell Ain't A Bad Place to Be" from 1977's Let There Be Rock. But after the reaction to their next song, 1980's "Back In Black," the crowd seemed rather tame. The placed exploded once Angus Young began the opening riff to that very popular favorite.

With the crowd now fired up and ready for more, vocalist Brian Johnson introduced another new song, this time "Big Jack," which the crowd promptly caught on to and sang along. Following that would be my personal favorite song of the evening, 1976's "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap," which Brian Johnson got the crowd into with ease. The band wasted no time segwaying from that to one of the band's most popular songs, 1990's "Thunderstruck," which saw 20,000 fists of the sold out crowd pumping in the air.

After an outrageously hot start, the band decided to mellow out a bit, starting off with the title track of their latest album, "Black Ice," and moving on to a concert staple for many years, 1975's "The Jack." "The Jack" was very well received, with Johnson doing a very respectable job replacing Bon Scott's vocal and Angus Young even doing a rather humorous strip-tease in the middle of the song, allowing the crowd to go just insane.

We heard bells quietly in the background and saw a giant church bell drop from the ceiling, so we all knew what song was next. As Johnson swung around on the bell, Angus began to play the opening riff to the first song off 1980's masterpiece Back In Black (and also Johnson's first album as AC/DC's vocalist), "Hell's Bells." Next up, ironically in the same order as the album, came "Shoot To Thrill" off the same album. A personal favorite of the night for me, and clearly a favorite of the crowd as well. Following that would be two more new tracks, "War Machine" being the first (and probably the best new track of the night) and the considerably poppy "Anything Goes," two of the albums best tracks. The band did a very solid job in their choice of new songs to put in the setlist, I'd say.

After that we'd get the one AC/DC song everyone on the planet knows, the generally very tiring 1980 staple "You Shook Me All Night Long," which wasn't so bad in concert because of the crowd energy. Still a song I like to avoid on all costs. A nice compliment to "Anything Goes" though, no question. Next up was one of the band's very first singles, 1975's "T.N.T.," which was given a nice touch by the pyrotechnics and also by the emphatic "fight!" chant by Angus Young. Following that were two classics from Let There Be Rock, the first being "Whole Lotta Rosie," which featured the giant inflatable Rosie in the background and drove the crowd insane. The second tune was "Let There Be Rock" itself, clocking in at over ten minutes featuring an absolutely outrageous solo by Angus. It's easy to underestimate him as a guitar player, but seeing that solo really convinced me that he's much better than what comes off on record. Simply astounding.

The band left for a few minutes, and promptly came out for an encore with Angus rising from the ground, sporting his devil horns. He broke out with the riff to the 1979 hit "Highway to Hell," which featured plenty of crowd participation. The band would shortly after start their 1981 concert anthem and traditional concert closer "For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)," with the cannons intact on top of the stack of amps. Several cannon explosions (on cue, no less) were one last calling for the crowd to go absolutely ballistic, and capped off a very solid show in very effective fashion. 20,000 fans left the Allstate Arena very satisfied.

Me? I went in as a casual fan of AC/DC, I left a HUGE fan of the band. I actually went out the next day and bought three of their albums I never had before. I've never been able to say that a concert made me a much bigger fan of a band I casually liked before, but this one did just that. Of the seventy-or-so bands I've seen, this can safely be considered one of the Top 3, up there with Rush, Genesis, and probably Van Halen in 2004. This band lives up to their title as one of the loudest and most rockin' bands of all-time, and I didn't leave disappointed.

As for the setlist, it'll please casual fans and those who've never seen them before, but die-hards will be disappointed by the over-abundance of hits (noting off 1978's Powerage, no "Moneytalks," one from Highway to Hell, nothing off their last new release Stiff Upper Lip from 2000, to name a few examples). For someone like myself, I found it considerably enjoyable, to see one of history's greatest rock n' roll bands doing what they do best. Not to mention, my ears are STILL ringing vehemently!

If you're not a big AC/DC fan but are willing to go into a concert with an open mind, I GUARANTEE you'll leave a bigger fan than you went in. 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Certainly worked for me.

Setlist:

Rock N' Roll Train
Hell Ain't A Bad Place to Be
Back In Black
Big Jack
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Thunderstruck
Black Ice
The Jack
Hell's Bells
Shoot to Thrill
War Machine
Anything Goes
You Shook Me All Night Long
T.N.T.
Whole Lotta Rosie
Let There Be Rock

Encore:

Highway to Hell
For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)

-Zach

"Role Models" - October 27, 2008

You talk about a strange surge of inspiration. I was watching The Simpsons on DVD last night as I struggled endlessly to fall asleep. I can't tell you the episode title, all I know is, it's the second or third episode on Season 10, I was too dazed to remember. Anywho, the basis of the episode is, Homer's driving and finds out life expectancy in male's has increased and he's "wasted half his life." VERY funny beginning, I was laughing my ass off albeit half asleep. So Lisa teaches him about Thomas Edison, who he develops this obsession for and talks about non-stop, before Marge suggests he becomes more like Edison instead of talking about him.

What happens next is, he quits his job (saying Marge suggested THAT too) and decides to become a full-time inventor in the basement. He puts up a poster of Edison in front of his desk for inspiration.

Now, what relevance does this hold and why exactly am I so into this? While it is ridiculous that Homer Simpson looks at Thomas Edison, of all people, as a role model, the concept itself and the admiration he shows for the guy is, I guess you can say, charming. The Simpsons in the past have been able to evoke personal emotions in the show (in sometimes hidden ways) that sometimes seem so real, or are so similar to life, you just can't help deny just how real it comes off, and how you can relate to that (see "Lisa the Iconoclast" for a better example).

It makes you think about the role models you've had in your life and what they've meant to you at some point or another. Of course my grandfather was #1 and always will be, but that's been established. I'm talking about the person you threw the poster of up over your bed, over your desk, somewhere that you can see it to garner inspiration. It's a very interesting thing if you think about it. That because a person is so popular and has done tremendous things, you can admire them for it.

So that begs the question, who have I considered role models over the years? Well, one of my first was Eddie Van Halen. Outstanding musician, tremendous guitar player, and his music left an outrageous impact on my life at just the right time. I still reflect on the music today, despite the fact that I don't hold either him or the band in the same regard anymore. Frankly, my admiration stops at a number of dickhead moves, and I hate saying this, but he's probably the only "role model" who over the years has truly let me down. And really, it's a shame.

Musically my role models have changed since then, and have remained more steady. I take more after Sammy Hagar and Mike Anthony (ex-singer and ex-bassist of Van Halen) these days, because they had to tolerate the bullshit of the aforementioned Edward Van Halen for so many years, yet were always able to go out and put on the best damn concert possible. Not to mention, meeting them last year was also a definite positive in their regard. There's also Nikki Sixx, the smart lyricist that made Motley Crue more than just a hair band in the '80s music world, who overcame so much adversity just to try and stay alive, and sure enough, he's still out there kickin' ass. Once again, classy guy in person, definitely a great moment for me. We finally end with my "big two" the last couple years, Neil Peart and Phil Collins. Both drummers, both lyricists (though Neil much more profound than Phil), both members of my two favorite bands, and both passionate about the things they do. Never do anything bad to people who cross their paths (well, except Phil to his ex-wives *rimshot*), just go out there, try and keep the fans happy, and give their all everytime they do something. How can that not be respected?

The two biggest things in my life have always been sports and music. Yes, in that order, so naturally my sports heroes have left a much greater impact on me than my music ones have. My first ever sports idol was Sammy Sosa, I think all of us Chicago sports fans can kinda figure what happened there (*rimshot again* I'm wearing the house drummer out tonight!).

Baseball has been my primary source for heroes, and the first one for a very long time (and still kinda is) would be Ken Griffey Jr. So much fun to watch when he was younger, before he was injury prone for the tail end of his career. His days in Seattle were classic, every single game he played there was exciting. He just kinda faded out, which sadly DOES happen. But he was still my first favorite baseball player and really the first sports figure to hold out longevity as a "role model."

Chipper Jones, Cal Ripken Jr., David Justice, Greg Maddux, Kevin Brown, Tom Glavine, all these guys were some of my favorite players back in the day (well, MY day that is). Even more recently, Josh Hamilton and Ryan Braun have climbed that ladder, for Hamilton's overcoming adversity to put up stellar numbers for a, well...bad team, and Ryan Braun's scrappy playing to carry his team to the postseason.

But naturally, you stay true to your home, because that's what you're most familiar with. When Mark Grace left the Cubs (unwillingly, mind you) after the 2000 season, I studied up on him and Ryne Sandberg more. Being a Cubs fan since '96, it's easy for those two to be overshadowed by the uprising of Sammy Sosa. But these guys were just fascinating, and their numbers were stellar in their careers. They instantly climbed up the ladder for me, and eventually would become my two favorite Cubs of all-time, even though they didn't have far to go, since they were both respectively behind Sammy Sosa. Always had a strong respect for both, just took awhile for that to come into full bloom. And meeting Ryne Sandberg really was the icing on the cake, so pleasant in person and just a nice guy. I'd run into him time and time again at the Cubs Conventions and he'd actually be able to recognize me and greet me as if we've known each other our whole lives. That first happened in 2002, and sealed the deal for me, really. November will be the first time I meet Mark Grace but I assume that to be pleasant as well.

Gracie and Ryno are my two favorite idols of all-time, and the greatest role models I ever had. The jerseys, posters, baseball cards, and autographs really tell that story well enough. And hell, we may have both guys with the team next year. Ryno may coach on the Cubs roster if Sinatro leaves, and Mark Grace may replace Bob Brenley as the team's color analyst if he decides to manage the Milwaukee Brewers. That'd be just awesome if both could be a part of the 2009 campaign, and would really be special for me as a Cubs fan. It's just nice to have two down-to-earth athletes as heroes of your's as you grow up, and be able to meet them and develop seemingly personal relationships with them, as if you've been friends for a long time. It means a lot to a fan like myself.

And this ties back with the end and essentially the Simpsons episode. At the end of the Simpsons episode (after Homer found out Edison had one of his ideas but remained undiscovered, so he decided to destroy it at the Edison museum, but couldn't because he saw Edison's picture of Leonardo Da Vinci and realized the relation between he and Edison). Those posters of our heroes we hoist up in our rooms, we're just admiring someone who's exactly like us, even if we don't know them personally. A person who fought towards a dream, and once they caught up to it, took full advantage of it. A person who had the drive to make the most of themselves, someone who deep down shares the same attitudes towards people and life as we do. It goes beyond the fact that they've accomplished so much. It's the fact that, overtime, they're just like us, we're just blind to realize it.

This blog was awful, haha. Jumpy, thoughts all over. But it's meant to convey a point, and when it goes into my book sometime in 2010, it'll be edited, well...better. But I'm sick, so give me a break. Still, it's a concept I've given some serious thought over the past day and it's really interesting how it all works out. I'll have a blog in a couple days, after my birthday on Wednesday, probably. See y'all then!

-Zach

"Reflection: 7th Grade" - October 14, 2008

Why 7th grade? Well, to be honest, I couldn't tell you. You all know me, I choose the most unusual times to be nostalgic, but it was one of the best times of my life, hands down, and really tends to be overlooked because it's in between two massive events that really altered my life forever. So it's like the cheese on a sandwich from Subway; you know its there, but you fail to recognize it because its inbetween the Hearty Italian bread and the meat. Cheesy analogy, eh? (pun TOTALLY intended :D)

So how did it all start? I moved out of Chicago on August 13, 2004 (we make note of that everytime that date passes), and started school about a week after I moved. If I could make a guess, and I'm not 100% positive, my first day at Taft (and at a different school for the first time in eight years) was August 21, 2004. It was tough, because I was coming off what could've very well been the best summer of my life, still in Chicago. Talk about a massive shift; moving from a school of 800 people to one of about 350. It was smaller, a bit of a dump (sorry Taft fans, I simply cannot lower my standards), and the people were...different. Was the difference in people necessarily a bad thing? Absolutely not. It was just a shift that, at that point in my life, I simply wasn't used to.

The people were nice, very welcoming, something I hadn't expected (simply because of my upbringing and the society I was surrounded by). Despite being a generally outgoing person, I was nervous as hell my first day there, and I think it could show. For Christ's sake, I didn't even know how to use the locks on the lockers, because for eight years of my life that was never a concern. So as I said, things were different, but it was an environment I could get used to real quickly.

I made some fast friends. Darren and Nicco, both Cubs fans (huge sigh of relief, because living on the South Side as a Cubs fan for twelve years ain't easy) who I'd generally talk baseball with. Leianne, Tiarra, and Kasey, who were in fairness the first people to approach me and really make me feel comfortable where I was. Then there was the person who I considered my best friend for two years, Roberta, who I honestly can't say the same about anymore. Not her fault, moreso mine, but more on that later. I developed a strong foundation pretty quickly.

So this is Autumn 2004, a time when one could proudly wear a Mark Prior 2003 All Star Game jersey without criticism, when people didn't want George Bush to serve a second term but really had no other choice, since his opposition was even worse (and yes, I am a Dem). My Cubs were closing out perhaps the most humiliating season I'd ever seen from them, whiniest and most pathetic group of professional athletes I'd ever witnessed. I also remember, almost every weekend, playing NFL 2K5 when I woke up to about 2 p.m., listening to either the Loop or a CD on my radio filling some time, very relaxing. I also became addicted to Family Guy very quickly, needed something to enjoy at 10:30 p.m. before heading to sleep (still an addiction). To be honest, it's really all I can remember about the time period, hah.

Anywho, time moves on, and things become more and more positive with people I'd become close to, some of which I'd considered best friends. I'd become attracted to Roberta, very strongly, one of the longest attractions to someone I'd ever had. You can't help who you like, which she understood, but I took that to an extreme I really shouldn't have taken it to. As soon as I got over it, things between her and I weren't the same. She'd suggest differently, but I never felt the same afterward, as if I screwed up the solid friendship we already had. They say "live life with no regrets," but sometimes you just do things you wish sometime down the road you can change. And the problem is, you can't. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but she was, and frankly still is, one of the most special people I've met in my life, and it's just difficult to swallow the fact that I handled that so carelessly at one point. It'd be nice to still be able to call her a "best friend," but things have just become to distanced between her and I, though like I said, none of that is her fault. If she reads this, I hope she realizes that she's still in my thoughts and very important to me, despite the distance between us.

So, skip the winter, t'was a boring time for the post part. I just remember spending long, cold nights with my Game Boy SP in front of our new TV watching football, filling the void with nothing to do. Motley Crue released new music and began a tour, after becoming a full-fledged fan the last summer, it was quite a treat. I picked up their greatest hits set (Red, White, and Crue) on February 5, 2005 (I still had the receipt, shockingly enough) and would often listen to it while doing homework or watching Arena Football on Saturday afternoons quietly in my room. Those two discs HAVE to be burned out by now, hah. An occasional school event here and there, generally a basketball game with some friends. Not a bad time at all.

Spring was a fucking blast, 'nuff said. I reunited (briefly) with a friend of mine, someone I considered a tremendous friend back in 2nd grade, and her name is Kate. I remember spending hours on end on the phone with her just catching up, whilst playing "ESPN MLB 2K5" on my XBOX. Things with her and I started really well, then we just kinda stopped talking around June (though we picked back up in January 2008, and haven't stopped talking since, very happy about that). In other news, my Cubs showed promise, the Bulls were a genuinely good basketball team for a change and made the playoffs, the NCAA Tournament was a blast because of the Illini making it to the Championship (and getting a cheap loss to those UNC bastards).

Later in the Spring, around May before summer break, was an outstanding time. I held a legitimate relationship with just about anyone you can think of, and even some then-eighth graders moving on to high school. For the first time in awhile, I really felt genuine respect, a feeling that hasn't faded since. It was just nice to be able to have those kinds of relationships with people. We had to do research papers, which I remember writing often while listening to Van Halen's "OU812" album with King of the Hill or Simpsons on the TV. Still the best paper I ever wrote, because the situation was just flawless. I went to see U2 and Sammy Hagar within three days of each other that month, towards the end they had the school olympics thing (which was awesome the first year around, but became really tired by my eighth grade year), and grad dance. Sad to see all those eighth graders leave the school, which is funny because I only associate myself with one these days, and we don't even talk, she's just in my English class this year. Funny how that works, eh?

The summer essentially began the weekend before school finished. I took a trip out to Dale's, first time since New Years and only second time since I'd moved since we did that. He had something going on my first day there, so I spent some time with old St. Dans friends I hadn't seen in a year. That was the perfect start to my summer, so incredible to see all those people again after such a long time (still is, actually). After the grad dance and the end of the year celebrations and such, Steph Lillis invited me to her grad party, which I remember for some strange reason as being a very good day. That following weekend, I went to the Cubs / Red Sox game at Wrigley on June 10, which we graciously won 14-6. I went to St. Dennis' carnival and hung out with Jessy Morgan most of the time the following day which was also a ton of fun. I also developed relationships with two going-on 7th graders (now sophomores) who have left a huge impact on my life, Jenny Jackinoski and Auston Wheets (sp? sorry bro :D), which ended up being a massive highlight to my summer.

Of course, all good things come to an end. This was around the time my grandfather was hospitalized and became very ill, eventually leading to his death. That's the one experience that changed my life forever, and things haven't been the same since. But it's safe to say before that, was easily one of the happiest times of my entire life, hands down, and I have a ton of people to thank for that. Those are the same people who made life easy on me following that tragic June 22 afternoon. The majority of which I still talk to today (Darren, Nicco), some of which I wish remained a part of my life (Leianne, Berta). The last thing I did that summer before spending it in isolation following grandad's passing was Canal Days, which was really fun since I spent most of my time with people who I wouldn't see again until August.

Oh, how things have changed, eh? I still can't believe that was three years ago, unbelievable. A LOT has happened since 7th grade, but it was the silver lining between two massively bad events to occur in my life, a silver lining that lasted a good ten months and I'm damn proud of it. I'm sure half of those people won't read this, but to the ones who left their impact: Thanks. You guys still mean a lot to me and my growth as a human being and I couldn't appreciate it more, and thanks to you all, you made my first year a VERY good one.

This was longer than expected. Well, that's about it, then!

-Zach

Hunt For Blue October 2008: Miserable Failure

The 2008 Chicago Cubs team was one seeking redemption. In their second season under manager Lou Piniella, not to mention the whole team being together as a whole (minus Jason Kendall, Jaque Jones, and Cliff Floyd, plus Kosuke Fukudome, Reed Johnson, Jim Edmonds, and Rich Harden), this ballclub looked more comfortable together and much more poised to do more than what they did in 2007. And that they did.

The 2008 regular season was, in every sense of the word, magical. Think of all the moments this team had witnessed this season, things that I as a fan had never seen in the twelve-years-and-counting of watching this team. We won our 10,000th game on April 23 in Colorado, via a walk-off homer by Aramis Ramirez. A 19-run shellacking of the Milwaukee Brewers a week later on the 30th. Posting an 18-9 record in the month of April, posting two six-game winning streaks to justify that record. We were down 9-1 against the Colorado Rockies at Wrigley on May 30, before scoring nine runs in the sixth and seventh innings to come back miraculously and win 10-9. The “1948 Game” on June 12 against the Braves, which went eleven innings courtesy of a Jim Edmonds game-tying homer in the bottom of the ninth, only to be won by the Cubs in the eleventh with a bases loaded hit-by-pitch to Reed Johnson to end the game 3-2. The sweep against the crosstown American League rival, the first-place White Sox, at Wrigley (only to be followed by a sweep at the Cell a week later). Rich Harden’s first start as a Cub on July 12 against the Giants, with the Cubs leading 7-0 only for then-struggling set-up man Carlos Marmol to blow that lead, tying it at 7-7 going into extras. The Cubs would win it on a walk-off single by Reed Johnson in the bottom of the eleventh inning. The magical (and then, necessary) sweep of the Milwaukee Brewers at the end of July, burying them to five games behind first place. A back-and-forth game against the Astros on August 5, only to be won thanks to an Alfonso Soriano three-run homer in the bottom of the seventh, widening the gap, eventually winning the game. Outscoring the Braves a week later in Atlanta 29-9, sweeping the season series for the first time in franchise history. A seven game winning streak at the end of August (topped off by an Aramis Ramirez go-ahead grand slam against the Phillies in the sixth victory). The mid-September make-up series in Miller Park against the Astros, which featured the first Cubs no-hitter in 36 years by Carlos Zambrano, as well as a one-hitter thrown by Ted Lilly the next day. A magical game against Milwaukee later that week, on September 18, with the Cubs down 6-2 before shortening the gap to three runs, and closing the gap with a two-out, three-run homer by Geovany Soto taking it to extra innings. The Cubs would win in twelve innings on a walk-off single by Derrek Lee, 7-6. The clinching game on September 20 against rival St. Louis Cardinals. And even after the clinch, we took the New York Mets to extras eventually winning off an Aramis Ramirez walk-off homer, proving to be a deciding factor in the Mets’ Wild Card hopes later on.

Of course every magical season does have a few downsides. Opening the season losing a series to the Milwaukee Brewers certainly wasn’t starting off on the right foot. We lost Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Zambrano here and there to injury (which may be considered a good thing in the long run). We had a downright horrific season against the American League during interleague play, posting a 6-9 record. The team had a rough time after the All-Star break, losing series’ to the Diamondbacks and Astros with serious hitting problems. We went on a six-game losing streak at the end of August entering September. The season didn’t end well, since the team seemed to take it easy, posting a subpar 4-4 record following the September 20 clincher.

Sure, it was magical, and this is the first time I could safely say I saw a real team effort instead of just a few stars stepping up to the plate (excluding 2003). Mark DeRosa put up a Ryne Sandberg quality season at the plate, hitting a career high 21 homers, driving in 87 runs, and posting another solid .285 batting average for his second year as a Cub. Geovany Soto is single-handedly the National League Rookie of the Year, hitting .285, 23 homers, and 86 RBIs, and establishing himself as a quality starting catcher for years to come. Those two have arguably put up a fight to share the Team MVP award this season. Aramis Ramirez, despite some struggles here and there, put together another quality year, hitting .289 with 27 homers and drove in 111 runs—the best on the roster. Jim Edmonds and Reed Johnson created a successful platoon in center field, hitting a combined 25 home runs and driving in 99 runs, perhaps the biggest surprise of the season. Ryan Dempster was successful as a starter, winning 17 games and posting an ERA under three. Ted Lilly also won 17 even considering his early-season struggles, and could safely be considered the ace of this staff after his past two seasons. Rich Harden fulfilled his expectations, going 5-1 with an ERA under two since coming to the Cubs in July. Carlos Marmol had mid-season struggles, but bounced back to remain one of the elite relievers in all of baseball. Sean Marshall, after being converted to a long-relief man, did very well in his relief appearances, and did decently in his spot starts as well.

And like any season, it has its disappointments. Tops would be the $136 million man Alfonso Soriano. Yes, in limited time he hit 29 homers and hit .280, but when he wasn’t on a white-hot streak of hitting, he was really bad. Derrek Lee continued his slumping since the middle of the 2007 campaign, albeit posting a .290 batting average with 20 homers and 90 RBIs. His 27 double plays and .361 on-base percentage don’t bode well, and his inability to get hits when the team truly needs him to come through have really frustrated the fans. Kosuke Fukudome started off tremendously well at the beginning, but tailed off miserably as the season progressed, eventually hitting under .200 for the months of August and September and losing his starting job. Carlos Zambrano came out like a house of fire but really slowed down in the final two months, eventually winning only 14 games and posting a 3.81 ERA. Jeff Samradzija, to me, did not live up to expectations, and was often unreliable as time passed, despite a glimmering 2.28 ERA. And one mention I’ll take a lot of heat for, Kerry Wood. Had a rough start but eventually found fair ground for a good couple months, before a blister injury in July added very unnecessary drama within the club. Since his return on August 5, he hadn’t been the same, posting a 6.75 ERA in the month of September. Despite an attractive total of 34 saves, he still doesn’t appear to have the make-up of a successful closer, blowing six of his forty save opportunities and proving unreliable at certain times.

But despite the disappointments and occasional season struggles, this team was able to win 97 games—twelve more than last season’s total of 85—and be the first National League team to clinch both a division title and home field advantage in 2008. The team looked very promising and ready to succeed, after last season’s Division Series disaster against the Arizona Diamondbacks, being swept in three games and outscored 14-5. To these guys, last season appeared to be a learning experience, as they seemed ready and poised to prove that this team was indeed better than last. Not to mention, the Cubs HAD to make it to at least the NLCS, or the season looks like a regression and therefore, a failure.

They would be faced with the Los Angeles Dodgers, who the Cubs looked very solid against early on but had become an entirely different ballclub since the last time they faced off on June 8. Trades for Casey Blake and Greg Maddux added some postseason experience to the club as well as another bat and arm to a lineup and rotation that looked pretty good already. But the trade that made headlines from July 31 through Game #162 was the one for Manny Ramirez, who cut his hair (somewhat) and wore jersey number 99 for the remainder of the season. He provided nothing but a positive influence on the team, and helped them believe they could win ballgames. So the combination of manager Joe Torre, Ramirez, and Maddux—all three men with tremendous postseason experience—really helped the team in becoming the powerful force they did in the final two months, despite winning only 84 games in the regular season.

So this team provided a challenge, and the Cubs as well as their fans were aware of that. Game 1 of the NLDS was a wash. The game started well, getting Manny Ramirez to ground into a double play, Mark DeRosa putting us ahead 2-0 with a wind-blown homer to right, and an awkward catch by Fukudome in right. Things really looked to be in our favor. Ryan Dempster, however, looked rough, only going 4 2/3 innings, walking seven batters. While his strike zone was inconsistent early on, as the game progressed he kept missing his spots, and the walks did eventually catch up to him, allowing a grand slam to Dodger first baseman James Loney, putting them ahead 4-2. Things only got worse, as Sean Marshall would pitch an effective 2 1/3 innings allowing only one run, a truly remarkable solo golf shot by Manny Ramirez that had to have been hit 450 ft. out of the yard. Jeff Samardzija came in and allowed one more run on singles, and Jason Marquis capped off the game by allowing a solo bomb to Dodger catcher Russell Martin (and almost allowing another by Andre Ethier). The Cubs would go on to lose Game 1 7-2, appropriately on a pop-out by Alfonso Soriano thrown by Cubs fan-favorite Greg Maddux, assumed to be pitching as a “let’s rub it in” move by Joe Torre in the late innings.

Game 2 didn’t prove to be any better, only this time the signs of a loss came very early on. Carlos Zambrano looked good in the first, retiring the side with ease. The top of the second, however, marked the Cubs downfall. It all started with a play at shortstop which Ryan Theriot attempted to bare-hand, when he could’ve easily stuck his glove in front of the ball and made an out, which resulted in a base-runner for Los Angeles. It didn’t get any prettier. Next was a grounder to Mark DeRosa which he muffed at second, when he could’ve easily turned a double play had he succeeded to field the grounder. Then a grounder was slapped Derrek Lee’s way—a play he’d usually make—and it deflected off his glove. The inning was topped off by a bases-clearing double by Russell Martin, and in the blink of an eye, the Cubs were down 5-0. The Dodgers continued to pile on runs (one of which being another solo shot to Manny Ramirez off the box seats in center field) and eventually led 10-1 by the ninth inning (the only Cub run coming off a Jim Edmonds double). Carlos Zambrano turned in a solid start despite fan skepticism, allowing seven runs, only three actually earned. The Cubs tried to come back in the bottom of the ninth, with Mark DeRosa attempting to redeem himself by driving in two runs on a double making the score 10-3. The game eventually ended on a strikeout to pinch hitter Daryle Ward. Just like that, the Dodgers, lead the series 2-0 going into Los Angeles.

Cubs fans and the media still held out hope for Game 3, even though based on the horrendous display of offense the last several games I wasn’t getting my hopes up, personally. I had every right not to. The Dodgers started off strong, courtesy of a James Loney two-run double in the first putting them ahead 2-0 (easily should be considered the NLDS MVP, hands down). The Cubs had so many chances to put something together, having men in scoring position numerous times leading up to the offense just not driving them home. It really was, to say the least, pathetic. Starter Rich Harden looked fine, he missed his spots here and there but for the most part, the runs he gave up shouldn’t have made the difference in this game, considering the opportunities we saw. But they did. With a 3-0 score late in the game, Daryle Ward tried to make a statement by driving in the Cubs’ first run of the game, but sadly that was futile. In the top of the ninth, appropriately enough, Fukudome grounded out and Soriano struck out swinging to end the game. What a way to go down, huh?

Last year’s postseason was a failure, but the season itself can be considered a success. We made a statement that we were good enough to take this team to the next level in 2008. We didn’t do that. We had to do more than just win 97 games in the regular season, we already proved we had a team that could make the playoffs. We had to go out and prove that we could take it further than the first round of the playoffs. We couldn’t do that, which makes this entire campaign, sadly, a failure.

It was a fun season full of magical moments that I, as a fan, will never forget and have been proud to witness, but it doesn’t diminish the fact that we failed our biggest goal this season. And it’s heartbreaking. I wasn’t there for 1984 or 1989. This is the first time I actually felt that, at times, this could be “the year,” just never said it to prevent the jinx (yes, I believe in that, just not curses or Steve Bartman).

But then again, I’ve done the dance before and I’ve seen it in my twelve years of watching this team. I watched us get embarrassingly swept by the Atlanta Braves in 1998’s NLDS, topped off by an eighth inning grand slam by catcher Eddie Perez in Game 3. I watched us get to five outs away in 2003’s NLCS before Alex Gonzalez muffed up a routine double play opening the door to a huge eighth inning for the Florida Marlins, eventually leading to our demise. I saw us go in ridiculously unprepared to last season’s playoffs, and we proved we weren’t ready, getting swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks in the NLDS. This year, I really thought we were more ready for the dance, that we had learned from the mistakes of last year and would try to bounce back from them. I had higher hopes than last year, but being a realist I can’t say I’m too crushed because as a Cubs fan, eventually you just have to expect a collapse. You haven’t won it until you actually win the damn Series, which is why I hated those God-forsaken “Its Gonna Happen!” signs around the ballpark. Looks like those of us smart enough to not get too ahead of ourselves are having the last laugh. No, I’m more frustrated and disappointed than anything, because the team could’ve done special things. They didn’t.

So now we look ahead towards 2009 and what could be fixed. You wish the organization wasn’t stupid enough to give Alfonso Soriano a $136 million contract for as many years as they did, since we signed him as a leadoff hitter with speed. To be perfectly blunt, he sucks at both aspects and provides nothing but a guess hitter at the top of the lineup. He’s no all-star, he’s a hack. We screwed up by not giving Carlos Beltran a big contract in 2005, that way we could’ve avoided the signing or Sorry-ano. Instead, we’re stuck with this guy. That’s your all-star, that’s your team leader. What an embarrassment. The first base position needs an upgrade. I personally respect what Derrek Lee gave this organization but his time has really run out. He’s not the player he was in 2005 or even the beginning of 2007, he’s become older now and he’s losing his stride, so something has to be done. You either give Micah Hoffpauir a chance, who could very well surprise us in a way Geovany Soto did this past season, or you spend money on Mark Teixeira, an established young first baseman who hits the market this offseason. You’re pretty much stuck with Fukudome and I think it’s fair to give him the second chance, since he did prove the potential is there. In center, re-sign Reed Johnson and make him your everyday starter (I give up on Pie, I’m still not sold after two seasons). Why not Edmonds? I think he’s going to retire, and if he doesn’t, I don’t think it’d be wise to take him back anyway (shades of Gary Gaetti ’99, anyone?). If you’re really picky and want to upgrade at short, there are several scenarios that could be played out and I’ll leave that to you all. I’m personally alright with Ryan Theriot as our everyday shortstop for 2009.

Pitching? Try and keep the core of Zambrano, Lilly, Dempster, and Harden at the top. They did tremendously well this season and you really couldn’t ask for more from them (maybe “Z,” but that’s a bit picky). For the fifth spot, hold an audition between Jeff Samardzija (that IS why we signed him), Sean Marshall, and Rich Hill (give him another shot, I still think he’s got it). Try and shop Jason Marquis around, he’s done well as the #5 starter and will be valuable somewhere else. As far as the pen is concerned, I will not shed any tears if Kerry Wood doesn’t return, but we all know that he’ll be re-signed in the coming days anyway, so who cares? Brian Fuentes and David Weathers, two quality and experienced relievers, become free agents next season. Try and buff up the obvious weak spot on the roster with one of those two, it can only go up from where it is now. Don’t even waste your time on Bob Howry anymore.

Changes need to be made. Jim Hendry made minimal ones after 2007 and look where it got us. I’m talking BIG changes, changes that will alter the focus of this team for the better, take for example the Manny Ramirez signing in Los Angeles and how that impacted the team so positively. We need something different, instead of the same guys walking in and blowing people away in 2009, only to slump in the postseason yet again.

It’s been a good year, but a failure. As a fan, I’m hoping I can step into my thirteenth year feeling good about it, but frankly, after this past offseason (and the past seven or eight), going into the Cubs Convention in January saying “this just might be it,” I’ll be saying “You failed the past two seasons. I don’t care if you win 120 games, it’s not going to look like a serious effort until you win a playoff series.” Damn right I’ll be more critical, and next year it’ll be taken to a different extreme, and extreme even I probably won’t be too familiar with. I am, however, happy with Lou Piniella. He still keeps a cool head and knows how to manage this ballclub and keep their heads in the game, and one has to respect that. He's done a great job these past two seasons and hopefully he gives us the same success in the next two.

It’s gonna be a long, cold offseason my friends. Just sit back and enjoy the rest of October baseball and what it has to offer. The Rays are looking good, as are the Red Sox, and the Dodgers are red hot. As far as the Cubs are concerned, I’ll still hold out hope, I’ll still attend games and the Cubs Convention, I’ll still watch the games and support my team. But damned if I can even get sucked into the trap I got sucked into this season ever again. It’ll be an interesting offseason, with the sale of the team and the ballpark, moves that will be made. We’ll see where this takes us. But right now, as I said, let’s just enjoy the rest of what October baseball has to offer and relax, before we worry and stress over “next year.”

2008 Team MVP: Mark DeRosa / Geovany Soto / Jim Edmonds and Reed Johnson - What DeRosa and Soto were able to provide in the middle of the lineup was absolutely huge, and the platoon of Edmonds and Johnson--two guys who weren't even at Spring Training--has proven to be a massive success for the club this season. It'd be a disappointment to not recognize those two along with DeRo and Soto as far as value to the team.

2008 Team Cy Young Winner: Ted Lilly - To go through what he did during the early part of the season and still manage to post 17 wins is remarkable, in every sense of the word. "Bad Lilly" only showed up a few times after April, but for the most part he was consistent on the road and at home, something that can't be said for Ryan Dempster.

2008 Team Most Improved Player: Ryan Dempster - It's pretty obvious. I thought he was horrendous as our closer, but winning 17 games and being so dominant at home really made things much easier on the team to win games. Good call, Lou!

"The Trees Light Up in Flames" - September 29, 2008

Folks, it's that time of year again. The trees begin to change their colors as if God started his own personal bonfire. The weather cools off, the day gets shorter, and in my humble opinion, it's the most romantic time of the year. Of course, with me that tends to go to waste, but whatever (laughs).

Yes, you guessed it. It's autumn, and early autumn is single-handedly one of my favorite times of the year. Everything seems to happen in the fall, and to me it really adds a nice finishing touch on any year, at least in my life. I mean, how can you go wrong? The MLB postseason begins immediately in October, always exciting (even moreso that the Cubs are in it once again), my birthday is on the 29th, my uncle's and sister's birthdays also in the month of October, parents' anniversary (always a nice occasion), the concert year closing out, hockey season begins and football season heats up, Halloween, the ideal fall weather. I can really go on and on and on and...well, you get the picture.

But before we take a look into the future, let's take a look at the past. I have a feeling this post will be one of my shorter ones because frankly, I haven't done much this past month. I have a feeling the majority of it will probably cover things I'm GOING to be doing, rather than things I'd done.

When was my last update, August? Well, school's been annoying. What else is new? My grades are good so I can't really complain, I'm just sick of the grind. Same shit every single day. No real complaints about my teachers, 'cept for Conway but I've never really liked her going back to last year. But like I said, outside of the grind, I'd say I'm in pretty good shape academically.

Let's see, let's see, what else? The Cubs are winning! I know I've done enough blogs on the Cubs recently but shit, I can't get enough of this team. We clinched on the 20th of September, good game against the Cardinals, the rest of the month was basically auditioning for the bullpen spots and the last places on the 25 man postseason roster. We won a couple, including an exciting extra inning game against the Mets at Shea Stadium last week. But for the most part it was resting regulars and brushing up the bullpen role. Not to mention this past month we had Zambrano's no-hitter against Houston and a miracle bottom-ninth, two-out comeback four days later against Milwaukee. Exciting time for the North Siders.

Homecoming week was the 15th to the 20th. It was annoying, only thing I truly participated in was Cubs / Sox day (and felt good to lend my Mark Prior 2003 All Star Game jersey to a friend who needed something Cubs related to wear). Outside of that, I could really care less about the whole school pride thing. In honesty, it's a "what have you done for me lately?" sorta thing. They've screwed me over so many times in so many ways, and I'm expected to show off pride in my school. Yeah, right.

The dance was alright, things could've been better. Nothing bad really happened to me, I was just kinda there, annoying the folks by singing Eddie Vedder's Cubs song "All the Way" obnoxiously to everyone, which was a ton of fun in itself. Had a lot of fun afterward, celebrating the Cubs clinching with some friends and some champagne in the eyes, blinding me the next morning. Then afterwards having a ton of fun online about a certain situation I'm not sure I should mention or not (the person involved knows what I'm talking about, which is all that matters). That was a fun night, I gotta admit.

Love life, haven't covered that in awhile. But what's there to cover? I'm not trying to be negative, there's just nothing there to talk about. Sure I have my interests, sure it's not to the point where I'm comfortable leaving those in the open yet. As of now I'm just kinda rolling with things to see what happens, hoping in the end things will go my way. It's not bringin' me down, so why see it as a negative thing, right?

Alright, now the fun begins, looking forward to arguably the best month of the year (against May and July, respectively). The month starts in an outstanding fashion. My uncle won the Cubs playoff ticket lottery last week and managed to get tickets to Game 1 of the NLDS against the Dodgers for Wednesday, October 1st. Of course he surprised me with that one yesterday, just casually asking "So hey, I won the lottery last week, want to go to Wednesday's game with me?" Uncle Tom, I love ya, but that's a stupid question (laughs). So I'll be there, 5:30 PM at Wrigley Field, Wednesday evening. Keep an eye out for me on TBS, will ya?

Rest of the month? I'm booking my weekends, gonna try and make up for lost plans this past Sunday in upcoming weekends with someone, looking for things to do on the other days. My parents' anniversary is the 10th, always a nice day. Uncle's birthday a week after on the 17th, sister's four days after on the 21st. Somewhere between the 21st and the 29th we'll have a family party where my sister and I get gifts from my grandmother and uncle. Then comes the 29th, my birthday, the greatest day in the history of mankind. Start getting your gifts ready! The 30th is most likely the AC/DC concert at Allstate, and Halloween I'm going to either try and spend with friends or perhaps make trek up to Sean's in Chicago and catch the Blackhawks game that day.

Busy month, eh? My weekends are mostly free though, so make plans if you'd like, I'm open to just about anything these days.

That's about it, actually. Not much more to say. Going to be an exciting month, I can just smell it (maybe that's the beautiful scent of autumn air, I don't know, hard to tell). I don't have much of a conclusion, so fuck it, I'll catch you when it's all said and done!

-Zach