Sunday, August 23, 2009

To Eleven People Who Keep Me Going (Literally)... - August 23, 2009

Recently enough in life I've had a couple revelations. For one, it's really difficult for me to trust some people worth a damn anymore. Second of all, I've come to the realization that sometimes, a few "close" friends of mine expect them to be the epi-center of my universe, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

The latter realization has been a real issue for me lately (and if I tagged you, none of this pertains to you), to the point where I have really been stressing things on an everyday basis. At the same time I think to myself, "why should I even bother with people who are obviously either just using me for rides, or rely on me for way too much for their own good?" It's become really bothersome, because I have friends in other places who want to do things with me and see me too, and I'm not going to neglect them because certain people are paranoid about me doing quite frankly something I've always done. It ain't right.

I'm flattered that you want to see me so badly, but I need breathing room. And if you're going to be pissy over the fact that I have other people I want to do things with (some of whom I've been friends with upwards of ten years), maybe you should just give up on me. Because I can't continue to bend over backwards and give the satisfaction when you're probably bullshitting me any chance you get. It's not worth my time or your's. Considering the certain people I have in my life, you haven't been around nearly as long to be worth it for me.

What's the purpose of this rant?

Because these recent negative events, where "friends" who consistently question the merit of what I'm telling them (the honest to God truth, mind you) and over the past two weeks have done nothing but bitch to my face about never seeing them and continue to take personal shots at certain interests of mine, have sparked another realization: The friends who've always been there for me are probably the greatest people in the world to me.

Anyone who I tagged in this note deserves to be here. These past two weeks have really opened my eyes as to why I value certain people so tremendously, and have always tried keeping them around at any cost, at any life changing turn, and at any obstacle that either I tried helping them overcome, or vice versa. There's really no other way to show my appreciation than by doing what I do best: write about it. And considering a recent battle with a return of my anxiety, on-and-off friendships, "friends" consistently giving me a hard time, and stresses at home, I felt this was necessary, because as much as you were unaware of it, I needed you guys. And you all were there.

These people have been with me through a lot of things, whether it be my first major move, the loss of my grandfather, the family issues I've had, the relationship difficulties that have always been there, etc. One by one, I want to individually thank all of you, in my own special and personal way, ways I probably could never do in person because I'd ramble on and not make much sense, hah.

First of course there's Dale, who's been my best friend over the past thirteen years. I feel gifted over the fact that I've been able to keep you around that long, because I see so many people who can't brag of a friendship lasting even half as long. I can't think of anyone else I could make a list of 200 inside jokes with, talk about baseball and go to concerts with, spend weekends with, and not get tired of, haha. You're like the brother I've never had, and I hope things stay that way for a long time. Thanks for being there for the late night convos, playing baseball franchises that never last past a week, among other things.

Second, naturally, is Sean. You and Dale are the upper etchelon of people in my life and have been for about as long as he's been there. I've known you for only a year less than I have Dale, but we've had a lot of good times, from playing Kobe Bryant's NBA Courtside and All Star Baseball 2000 in your basement when we were in second grade to...well, still doing that now, hah. Never in my life do I have more stimulating sports convos and honestly, we need to catch more sporting events on a regular basis. Hawks game in November? You're also like a brother to me, and I really appreciate it.

Third would be Katie. Possibly the most interesting relationship I've had with anyone in my life, which may explain why I consider you the best friend of the opposite gender I've ever had. I remember meeting you eleven years ago and we just hit it off really well, and then at the end of second grade you moved, which was devastating. In seventh grade we got back in touch, stopped talking, then again Sophomore year and haven't looked back. Since then, you've been there through everything, as I have for you. You have no idea how proud I am that we've found an identity in our friendship, and I couldn't be happier with how things are. Thank you.

Fourth, Laura. Considering how long I've known the above three (thirteen, twelve, eleven years, respectively), you're out of place, but that doesn't diminish your impact. Funny how I thought you didn't like me when I met you, but ever since we had that conversation on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" as we both took a sick day Sophomore year, seems like we haven't stopped, hah. Next to Dale, you and I probably have more inside jokes than anyone else, and you've become the best thing to ever happen to me in Lockport. Seriously. Which explains why I get so bent about hanging, because there's really nobody I'd rather spend time with out here. We have to pick a day to do lunch after school every week. Or else ;)

Fifth would be Brian. We go back kind of a long ways, first on a musical basis, now more than anything on a Cubs/Hawks/Bears basis. I first got to know you Freshman year, then everyday Sophomore year (your Senior year) we talked about the Cubs, Hawks, or Bears everyday between fourth and fifth period. It's a shame you're off at college because I never see you anymore, but hopefully that changes when you transfer, because we always have a good time watching Cubs games and just kickin' back. I miss you 'round these parts and look forward to your return. You're like an older brother to me, and anticipate more college advice when I start next fall.

Sixth, Roberta. There's no way I could forget you in this whole thing. We don't see each other much anymore outside of school, and don't talk nearly as much either, but I always remember you as the first best friend I had outside of Chicago, and seeing you the past few days and how happy you've been to see me has really helped through some things. I miss you more than you could ever imagine, because I'd still consider you one of the best friends I've ever had. Those times we spent in seventh and eighth grade are some of the best memories of my life and I miss those days. We should do something soon, just for the nostalgia of it.

Seventh is Marcella. I never see you, but you're the closest thing to a sister I've ever had. I remember I sent you an IM in December of Freshman year out of sheer curiosity because I'd heard so much about you, and since then we really hit it off. It's a shame you live all the way out there because if you didn't we'd probably do things on a much more regular basis. We've been through everything together and I'm glad you trust me with as much as you do, because I trust you with about the same. Love you, buddy.

Eighth would be Zach and Mitch. Is it strange that I'm posting message board friends on a personal note? I'd hope not, because I personally believe any kind of relationship can transcend beyond knowing someone in person, as long as you keep in touch and can maintain that person's interest. These two are the only two guys I can think of who, since I've started using message boards in 2005, have been through a lot of personal hardship as I have for them. Zach's been there through the relationships, and Mitch through the anxiety. Plus, we just have a fucking good time talking on a regular basis. One day we'll have a get together, jam, and just chill. You guys have been great to me and deserved a shout. I only post on one message board these days, and it's the one you guys post on. Go figure!


Ninth, Nikki. Maybe it's unorthodox that I'm putting you in here but I think my reasons are legit. I've known you since...eighth grade, I think. Since then, it seems like any problem that comes across you or myself, we've gone to each other for in a flash. When you said on one of those ridiculous picture-tag things, where I know more about you than anyone else, it really made me think about that. You really have helped me through a TON of stuff, as I hope to have with you, and through this whole time we've never really hit a snag or conflict. A good four and a half years, probably, and it was nice hanging out with you for the first time in awhile on Friday. You have no idea how much I appreciate your help with things.

Tenth would have to be Ray. I think of the above people I've known you the shortest (met at the Rush show Sophomore year, September) at about two years, but you've always been a good guy and have given me a shit-ton of excellent advice when I've been down. Eventually, ParthenoGenesis will take off and we'll be chillin' a lot more, and I hope if you do the radio gig this year you use me as a "guest" every week. You've been a good friend to me and I'm glad you've stuck around.

Eleventh, but certainly not last, Lauren. Another person I go back to Taft with who I could maintain a steady conversation for a few hours with on a seemingly regular basis, which is hilarious because like I always say, I thought you hated me way back then. But we've been able to talk about a lot of things, mostly relationship hassles, and stay close to each other this long. You always suggest how I'm your best friend (whenever I threaten to kick assface's, well...ass) and I always appreciate that. So thank you.

Like I said earlier, I needed the eleven (or twelve, I cheated) of you in order to help get me through personal issues over the last couple months. And you guys did your part, be it direct or indirect, and I couldn't be happier at the fact that I have so many people who both respect me so much, and I have an undying respect for. I've been able to keep you guys around longer than anyone else in my life, and I have for various reasons. I'll always do what I can to keep you all with me, even though with some I know I don't have to, though I still try.

People like to think I have an ego, that I think way too much of myself. It couldn't be farther from the truth, I really don't think much of myself. I really don't think I'm that great of a guy. But you guys will be there for that occasional ego boost or self-esteem riser that I need every now and then, and it's always appreciated. I feel respected around you guys, appreciated. Something I don't feel from the "friends" I mentioned at the beginning.

So this was a necessary indulgence, because now more than ever I've felt the need to let everyone know how much I appreciate and respect them. With some, it's been long overdue. With others, they hear it on a regular basis and probably won't even read it. I consider myself the luckiest guy on the world to be surrounded by people like yourselves, and hope to keep you all around for a very long time. Because frankly, I don't know where I'd be without even one of you.

In a simple rhyme: Thank you :)

-Zach

Thursday, July 30, 2009

"Sometimes, Life Just Gets in the Way..." - July 30, 2009

"...and there comes a time when you need to remember who and what makes and has made you the wonderful person that you have become."

This is an old quote of mine that I decided to dig up specifically for this blog. I remember saying this to a friend who was feeling down back in eighth grade, to try and cheer her up. She loved it so much she used it as a MySpace headline for a few months, and I saved it on my hard drive. I actually forgot about it a long time ago, but was cleaning up all my computer files and found it. I'm glad I never tossed it because of it's small file size, because it really is an excellent quote.

But why exactly did I decide to use it? Well, there comes a time when a person needs to take their own advice sometimes and realize that they'd left some things behind in their past, whether it be people, things, hobbies, etc. I'm guilty of that, and tonight has been one of those nights where you're left with nothing better to do than think about all those things from your past, and just how much you miss some of them.

And sure, life goes on, you meet new friends, you head in new personal directions and sometimes that overshadows what truly makes you happy, what continuously got you by on a regular basis regardless of what was going on in life. I'm trapped in the apex of that enigma. I love the new things I have in my life, the new friendships I've made over the last six months and the new routines I have with different people. But I also miss what I used to have with some people, and sometimes regret not taking more advantage of any time I had with them.

I'm also guilty of not writing on a regular basis. I haven't done a fun post in awhile, be it a countdown, a listing, or a simple life update blog which surprisingly became popular amongst a circle of friends. My last life update was on January 26, 2009. That was way too long ago, and honestly, I don't think there's any legitimate way I can cover February through July in a simple blog posting. What I can do, is throw some insight out there as to why I'm stressing these nostalgic anecdotes the way I am, and pretty much summarize my summer, like I would in a typical blog posting.

Back in March, I joined up with a new circle of friends in Adam, Rob, and Darren, eventually joined by Karolina and Alex, Rob's and Adam's girlfriends respectively. Usually I won't throw names out there in my blogs, but they're worth it, I'd say. I have to be totally honest, ever since I moved to Lockport back in 2004, I hadn't been happier to be a part of the group I was in, and frankly am still very pleased to be with all of them on a regular basis. And since March, we've done everything together, be it a trip to Chicago that marks up as one of the best days of 2009, blowing off air-horns on a memorable night (for me) in April, and just hangin' out with them as much as I could until summer rolled along. March also saw me reconnecting with others as I had just started using Facebook constantly, such as Dan and Andy, so that was always a plus.

I met some new people through them, be it at school or when we would just hang out. It was nice to be surrounded by people I could be obnoxious with, to be immature with, and to just have a good time with.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Then summer actually came. I found myself with a pretty busy schedule, so I was often dividing time with them to do other things, either with family or friends I hadn't seen in awhile. So things looked to be very good: A summer spent with the circle of friends I'd had the past several months, seeing older friends, baseball games, concerts, and a ton of other things. I had a nice preview in Peoria seeing a Chiefs game and fireworks afterward, certainly a positive way to start things off despite one more week of school.

My first week consisted of a Cubs game which we lost 8-2, a baseball game for Kendall's baseball league, and taking Laura out for her birthday (which was especially nice because as time went on we saw less and less of each other, so I was glad I could do something nice for her and actually hang out with her for a change). Chickenfoot also came out that day, which maintains significance because ever since it was released, it's all I've been listening to. Still on heavy rotation over here.

As the second week rolled around, I had plans to stay overnight by Dale's leading into a Cubs game I'd attend with my uncle on that Friday (June 12th). This slightly complicated my dream summer of doing everything I possibly could, because I had a game in Kendall's baseball league while I'd be up there, and also had people wanting to do stuff, toward which I had to reluctantly decline. But it was nice at Dale's, great to be back in the old neighborhood just relaxing, easing my mind. Reconnected with someone who I've come to really respect through MySpace during that stay up there, and forged a relationship with her I'm rather proud of now.

That Cubs game with my uncle was one of the worst I ever attended. It was the game where Milton Bradley threw the ball into the stands with only two outs instead of three? Yeah, beautiful. Cubs lost 7-4. But the day wasn't a total loss, as we went to see "We Believe - Chicago and it's Cubs" at the Chicago Theatre at 10:30 PM for the premier, and little did I know my name was in the credits. One of the coolest things ever, and I'm so proud to have been a part of that.

About a week went by when I just chilled, went over to Brian's for a Cubs game (which was really nice as I hadn't seen him in awhile due to his being at college, and I'm glad I've been able to take advantage of his return home this summer). Hit yet another Cubs game on Friday the 19th, only in a direct parallel to a week prior, it was one of the best Cubs games I'd ever attended, coming back from a 7-0 deficit to win 8-7. Also luckily for me, Laura rescheduled her birthday party for the day after so I didn't miss it, which I would've come to regret eventually. I attended the party and saw some people I haven't seen in awhile, and despite some unnecessary drama, it was a very good night.

Later that week, I went over to Alex's with Adam, Rob, and Karolina for a swim, headed up to St. Dan's Carnival with Sean and saw some old frends despite the whole thing pretty much sucking, and headed to Milwaukee for a vacation at Summerfest and a Brewers game for awhile. Would be there for a few days, saw KISS which was one of the worst shows I'd ever seen, the Brewers lost 7-0 that day against San Francisco, and I saw Heart on our last night, who were very, very good. It was a nice vacation, though too long for my liking.

Upon my return, I headed over to Plainfield about an hour later to hang out with Katie, who I hadn't seen in a VERY long time. We made a nice day out of it, watched Juno, I listened to her Steve stories, and it was just really nice to catch up with her. After heading home, I had to go pack again, as I would be heading up to Summerfest yet again, only this time with Dale. We chilled on my first night there, Danielle came over and we played Mario Kart with chocolate all over my shirt (long story), and just watched Frasier and Whose Line after she left. The next day, we went to Summerfest and saw Whitesnake AND Judas Priest in the same night which was sick as hell (despite the women and scents leaving much to be desired compared to the last two years). We came home, relaxed, and sure enough, it was already the Fourth of July and I was back in Lockport!

The Fourth was a relaxing day with family, as was the fifth. I spent most of the sixth on my ass before heading over to Rob's with Adam to play some Nintendo 64. On the seventh, I went to yet another Cubs game, my last one to date, which was a really embarrassing 2-1 loss. The next day I went to Brian's to watch a game, then the NEXT day I had to go see a specialist for my throat, which apparently had a scratch on it. By the end of the weekend, it had healed fully. I went to Dave's party that Sunday feeling much better.

Thank God for that, because that Monday was the Green Day show, which was nice because I talked to Stacey a lot before and after it. Sadly, I hadn't talked to her as much (or seen her at all!) as I'd have liked to over the course of the summer, because I'd still say she's one of the closest friends I have. But it was nice to get back in touch with her, that's for sure. And the show was incredible. One of the best concerts I ever attended which is surprising, because I was always a moderate GD fan. Safe to say that changed after that show.

The next day was a beach trip with Adam, Alex, Rob, and Karolina, which I decided to treat them to as an attempt to make up for all the times they invited me to things that I couldn't make. Basically showing my appreciation. Sadly, there was some stress. I won't throw a name out there but a friend really wanted to go, I just couldn't fit him in for one and for two I thought he was busy. I really felt bad about it, and I hope he realizes I wasn't trying to be an asshole. In spite of that, it was an excellent day.

Later for the weekend, it was Blackhawks Convention at the Hilton with my uncle, first time I'd ever gone to that. The event was a disaster, but I did pull off a nice haul with autographs that I'm very proud of. I also got to hang out with Lauren there for awhile, which was really nice because that's one of those relationships I managed to re-establish in March via Facebook. So it was a successful weekend, that's for sure.

Last Wednesday, I went to Cruefest with Adam, Alex, and Rob, and I must say the bands this year were so much better than last year. And Motley sounded very good too. Very nice day on a very nice view from the lawn. Luckily the weather held up as well, and turned out to be a beautiful evening. On Friday, I went to Katie's again and we just caught up, which again was very nice. Saturday I went to Sean's block party and once again saw some great friends I rarely get to see. Sunday I helped my uncle clean (part of) his basement. Since then, I've been very relaxed, just taking it easy. Except for Tuesday, where I spent another very nice day with Laura, and got her into Best in Show and Frasier, hah.

++++++++++++++++++++++

One thing I've learned throughout this summer is that you can't please everybody, no matter how hard you try. And I learned that the difficult way, trying to do more than even I myself could handle. Take Kendall's baseball league for example. I felt terrible that I didn't participate and live up to the promise I made for that, but ultimately, life just got in the way. Or with Adam, Rob, and Darren. I always wanted to do stuff with them, but ultimately, life just got in the way.

I lead several different lives. I live a Lockport life, a Chicago life, and a family life. This year has been harder than ever to manage all three at once, and it's become rather stressful. Maybe some of it's a good thing, that a lot of people want to do things with me and keep me around. But it's also a bad thing because sometimes I just can't fulfill that. Which is why there will be times when I try and make it up to them, and it's usually a success.

The fourth "life" that I used to update regularly is the love life, which is complicated. These days I'm just going with the flow, waiting for something to come my way, and trying my damndest to not dwell on anything. Of course I have my interests, and one of them may know who they are, but I'm still searching for someone I can get into something serious with. It's a void in my life I feel needs to be filled.

What does the rest of my summer hold? Well, it's more chill, that's for sure. Saturday I have a Fire game (and an extra ticket, anyone want in?), next Friday is the long-awaited Chickenfoot concert, the Sunday following is a baseball game with Sean, and then the Thursday afterward is a Cubs game with my uncle. There will be other things sprinkled in there, I'm sure. But that's the main outline of August.

Then, school begins on August 19th. Whoo-hoo! (note the sarcasm)

But the overall moral of the story is: Sometimes life just gets in the way. I have still been getting in touch with some friends through Facebook, like Nikki and Cait, people I haven't spoken to in a very long time, and it's really nice catching up with the likes of both as I truly have missed them, among others. I outlined those two because I considered both to be very good friends of mine awhile ago, and it's nobody's fault we would stop talking. Life just got in the way, and that distanced all of us. It happens. It's nice to know I was missed, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual knowing I missed them.

This blog also symbolizes the one thing that will always make me consistently happy: Writing. Something I've neglected to do when it comes to my life over the past six months (even though I remained active with Cubs blogs among others). And I'd forgotten the great therapy it happens to be. I seemed to have had a prophecy tonight, one which answered a lot of the questions I'd been seeking answers for the past couple weeks.

I spoke earlier of revisiting older things that once made you happy or filled voids in your life, and catching up with certain people recently have helped that. Then I spoke of the new friendships which are still there and life is in continuous constant motion forward. But I neglected to speak of the middle ground. On Tuesday, I spent an entire day with Laura (and part of it with Dave), one of the best friends I've ever had in my life, and can't remember how long ago it was since I felt that kind of happiness. Later on that night I talked to Brian deep into the night as I have every night this summer, texted Dale as he's on vacation, commented a status of Dave's, talked to Bittner this morning, and talked to Sean earlier today. The two others who've been around me forever and have always been great to me, Katie and Lauren, I'm sure I'll talk to later on.

It's that balanced medium that I like the best: The things and the people who have always been there for you. The one's who've always consistently reminded you why you're still here and why you do the things you do. And why everyone has the wonderful person inside of them, because there's always someone or something who wants to keep them near.

As cheesy and cliche' as that may be, think about it. That's my sign off.

-Zach

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"The Second Longest 'Tribute' I'll Probably Ever Write..." - March 18, 2009

I did a "Tribute" blog last June in dedication to my late grandfather, a concept which I happened to be very fond of (and other people liked too, I'm assuming for the subject matter as I poured everything I had in me to convey my feelings about the ordeal). Upon reflection, that was a really solid concept (much like my "Reflection" blogs which are uncommon but have clicked with others), one which, while I would never get in as much depth as I did the predecessor, could work out very well if I gave "Tribute" blogs to friends, other family, or even personal heroes and idols of mine.

That said, I'm going to start this today, in part because I owed somebody big time for leaving them out of my blog for such a long time after promising her she'd be in here. Not necessarily the best idea on my end, but I must admit, the timing was a bit awkward. I posted my first 2009 blog on January 26 to cover stuff like the Cubs Convention and all that, and by this point our relationship had taken an awkward turn due to some drastic unforseen events, causing us to seemingly only be speaking on a week-to-week basis by then. With that said, a slight mention in that blog wouldn't have killed me, so if you're reading this, this is my apology.

But let's get with the happy, shall we? In my usual "not use names" fashion, chances are I won't mention her name anywhere in here (it's a privacy thing, most people don't like to be that "public"), but she'll know who she is.

This whole thing may be one of the most "complex" close relationships I'd ever been a part of, honestly. We met in 1998, first grade, and at the time she may have damn well been the best friend a then-stupid-looking kid like me could've asked for (heh). Eventually, for myself at least, it translated to your cute, stupid "puppy love" kinda thing, since at the time I'd developed significant feelings for her. And they stuck around for a good couple years. It's safe to say it was the first point in my life where I ever maintained feelings like those, and I liked it.

Sadly, after those "good couple years," she moved, which hurt like hell because not only was I losing the person who had left that specific impact on me, but at the time I was also losing my best friend. So I really believed I had nowhere to turn at that point, and what was more depressing is I misplaced the number she gave me so I had no means of contacting her. It was pretty hard on me, at the time being only eight years old as it was.

It took five years before we even managed to speak again, sad as it was. I'll never forget, it was Spring 2005 and I had just bought ESPN MLB 2K5 for my XBOX, which I was playing in my parents' room (usually it's in my room, but my dad got a new Tom Clancy game so until he beat it, I was stuck in there). Suddenly I get a call, and lo-and-behold, the caller ID gives her last name. I really had no idea how to react, what to say, etc. So I didn't answer, and gave myself a day to sort myself out mentally.

When I finally got myself to do what I needed to do, I was very happy about it. We talked for a few hours and eventually would do that regularly for, if I'm not mistaken, a couple months. All the catching up we did, the changes in our personalities (and the similarities that stuck around for five years). We also regularly talked online, and it was always a relief when, at the time my grandfather and best friend was very, very ill, I could always look forward to coming home, onto my laptop, and talking to her.

What still hasn't come clear to me is, shortly after my grandfather passed, she just...left. I'm still not sure what happened, and have mentioned it to her in the past and frankly, I don't think she knows either. Just one of those things. So it was depressing, because she was helping me get through such a difficult time and wasn't there anymore.

And no doubt, part of why she was helping me so much is because those feelings from before stuck around, and a huge part of me wanted to continue expanding on that relationship to maybe turn it into something down the road.

That was Summer 2005. Fast-forward to January 2008 when someone adds my MySpace. I send the message asking who she was, just out of curiosity, when viola, I'm sure you can assume who it was (I had to ask because when we got back in touch in 2005, I still hadn't seen her, all we did was talk on the phone and AIM. So I didn't know what her modern appearance was). I remember one Saturday night we spent about four hours catching up on AIM, just like we did three years prior, and considering how greatly both of us had changed, it was like meeting a whole new person, yet maintaining the strong history that was developed. So it was interesting.

Part of me was so surprised to me someone with such similar interests as myself, which I found fascinating. We got to know each other more and kept in touch in moderation, certainly not as much as we had three years prior.

Then comes a day in January when we decided to catch up with each other after a couple months of not speaking (no reason, we were both so busy). She told me she had feelings for me via text. Uhh, whaaaa!? What she ended up saying to me that night was stuff I was too nervous to say myself for years! Not to mention, I wasn't going to anytime soon, as I believed she was still in a relationship while she apparently was not.

Naturally we tried to expand on this, and it was definitely one of the best feelings in the world for someone like me. It was eleven years of foundation, to a point where I always wanted it to go. And it was a spectacular week, getting nice texts and talking everyday almost non-stop. Sadly, circumstances arose, and it just...ended. I'm used to things not going my way, so I didn't take it too hard. But let's not underestimate that as me taking it well. My feelings that built up for so long had suddenly been dissolved, and it was a sad thought.

It's been two months since then. As crazy as it sounds, I attempted to just move on with other options, but I simply couldn't stop thinking about her. She's just such a tremendously special person to me and the fact that I had lost it so quickly really did end up hitting me hard. She may very well be the most special girl I've ever met, honestly. Though I got a very nice, refreshing call from her today, though I was out of my element because I was exhausted and she also told me something I wasn't expecting to hear, however, it made me a very happy guy.

And I still have significant feelings for her...

That's that. I felt it was deserving, and instead of giving only a sentence or a paragraph, I gave her the whole damn blog. I've always believed that, if I can't have her in a relationship, I still want her in my life. So when we go a month without speaking out of sheer lazyness on one end or stupid phobias on the other, it's not a good thing, because the thought of her is in constant rotation in my mind.

I've never gone into this much detail trying to make her feel as special as she possibly could but I feel it was deserving. I said I'd do it for her birthday, but I didn't want to wait that long. I already have some ideas as to some other things I'm going to do for her birthday anyway, which is in ten days.

So if you're reading this, there's your mention in my blog :D It ended up longer than even I had expected...

-Zach

Thursday, March 12, 2009

"My, How Far We've Come..." - March 12, 2009

Usually I'll quote a lyric of my thoughts for the blog title. That was actually the plan until today when I started to reflect on a lot of aspects on life, and realized just how far not only I, but everyone else around me, have gotten at this stage of our lives in comparison to one, two, or even four years ago.

Allow me to elaborate. Yesterday, I saw a magnificent friend of mine who I never get to see these days anymore. Neither of our faults, just never a convenient time for either of us. What's funny is just how much our relationship has changed, albeit it hasn't been for the better. I saw her twice yesterday, and I swear on my life I never hugged anyone as strongly as I did then (when you lose your balance, you KNOW it's pretty strong, hah). It was expressing my emotion of just how much I miss her, and clearly the feeling was mutual as she expressed the same thing. Since the first hug I gave her early yesterday morning, I seriously thought about her all day; not the way you're all thinking. I was thinking about how I'd still probably consider her one of the greatest, best friends to ever walk into my life, despite the distances between us these days.

What's funny is, two years ago to the date, I saw her everyday after school, locker right across the hall from mine, chances are if she wasn't staying after I'd walk out with her, give her a hug, and we'd be on our way. It was almost routine, and if one reflects, that period two to three years ago may have been the best period we ever had together. Only reason I say that is because part of me realized by that point what I was too stupid to realize before. I've known her for five years, and five years ago I'd have considered myself to be in love with her, despite the fact that the feeling wasn't mutual and that was very obvious. By the time I got over that, things vastly improved between us, and lately I've begun to think about just how much I took for granted with her in the past, since I hardly see her anymore.

She mentioned something to me yesterday, and I was intrigued. In that period four to five years ago when I had significant feelings for her. She mentioned a letter I sent her expressing my feelings in possibly the most romantic way I've ever done, with anybody. She told me she read it again and she cried, much like when I first sent it. I read it back and, poorly written as it was, it was beautiful, and definitely a positive reflection of the one time I EVER felt even remotely close to being with the first person I ever can actually say I loved. And part of me realized what a fool I was to chase the whole thing the way I did, but I've learned from that and frankly couldn't be happier with the way things ended up with her and I. Of course, if I could change how things are now, I would (as far as seeing her and such)...

This leads to other relationships. How the two other best friends I had here in Lockport two years ago and I are no longer on speaking terms, courtesy of one's own ridiculous pretention against me and another's childish insecurity about my affairs with certain people in his life. How I lost the person I'd fallen hardest for since the beginning of high school two years to yesterday, and how I'm now closer to her than I was seemingly then, just in a different way. How I've been able to maintain some friends from junior high and even from Midway and just how important a role they've played in my life the whole time. How two years to the day I got my Genesis tickets, starting what ended up being the greatest concert year of my life. How four years ago I had been so disgusted with the Cubs organization my grandfather and I could hardly watch a game anymore, then two years ago how a few smart free agent moves (not often I get to say that!) generated interest, and how today I seriously cannot remember ever being this excited for the start of the season. How two years ago my relationship with my dad seemed beyond repair, and how these days it's become much better, despite the occasional squabbles (See that? I used the word squabble in one of my blogs!). Sometimes I think we all take these things for granted, but to preach what another "acquaintance," if you will, said yesterday, sometimes you have to give them some thought in order to totally appreciate exactly what you have.

So clearly, a lot has been on my mind, but unlike most times I've been very thankful for what I've been able to hold onto lately, or for that matter, been able to get back in different variations. It's these little things that have kept me going of late, since life for the longest time until the past few weeks had been at a stand-still. It's been a month and a half since I did a life update, and this may have been the best damn interlude I've done in recent memory, so let's get to the goings-on, shall we?

February was a bore. Really, I can't think of anything substantial that happened that month. All I can recall is two four-day weekends, being sick for both of them (one being the worst damn sickness I've experienced in years, more on that later). Spring Training for baseball began, which is always a good thing because I've seriously been going insane without my baseball. Let's not forget I am a Cubs fan and still need validation after last year's miserable collapse, just one step closer to that happening! Also got Cubs tickets! June 19 vs. Cleveland and July 7 vs. Atlanta, so keep an eye out for me on TV, y'hear? Managed to get some Brewers tickets for June 28 as well up in Milwaukee at the end of the month, so slowly but surely, my summer planning had already begun.

At the end of February, in our big four-day weekend leading up to March, I couldn't believe how sick I had become. Splitting headache, like my head was run over by multiple semi-trucks, asthma cough, congestion, soreness all over, chills and then unusual spurts of unbearable warmth. I was sick that entire weekend, which really sucked (to put it bluntly) because I did have some plans for that weekend. The good news is, I felt like I was going to die, and luckily I'm here, posting this blog for my legions of loyal readers to enjoy .

March so far has been excellent. Baseball games are now being televised, I'm getting tons of concert tickets (paid to get a bite at U2 pre-sale tickets, seeing Paramore and No Doubt, Cruefest if I can score something cheap, likely going to Summerfest twice, waiting for Chickenfoot and AC/DC to announce their respective tours). My summer from June 19 up until July 22 is booked, with days open here and there, but for the most part I'm packed, and I couldn't be happier, because unlike the last month and a half, I actually have something to look forward to. Among other things this month, the World Baseball Classic has been fascinating, unlike in 2006, and the Blackhawks are still making an aggressive push to the postseason. School's also been outstanding, had an awful start to third quarter but the way my grades look, I can still hold on to the "honor roll" title and keep my GPA at a 3.2, which always makes life so much easier, especially with fourth quarter being such a cakewalk.

I haven't updated on my love life recently, essentially because there's nothing to report. What else is new? I made an attempt with one person but it felt like a one-way street and I was the only one driving down it. To be fair, being old-fashioned I expect myself to take control of stuff like this, but part of me seemed like I was chasing something rather unnecessary way too strongly, and for me, it doesn't work like that. I like when a foundation is put in place and I'm not the only one making an effort to work something out. Which leads me to my next point: I just need to meet new chicks, to once again, put something bluntly. I've pushed very hard with certain ones in the past to little or no avail, and I need to move on, problem is I can't find anyone I can legitimately move on towards. Sure there are people I'd like to meet or get to know better, but those are things I can't really see panning out anyway. So, "love" is also at a stand-still, sadly. I don't fret over it as much anymore, just waiting for something to come along...

So, what's in store for the coming days? Spring break is on the horizon, and I have no plans! I do expect that to change, however, I seriously doubt that I'll spend the entire time at home. Baseball season starts on April 6 and naturally I'm very excited about that. Cruefest and U2 tickets go on sale very soon, with Chickenfoot probably announcing their tour shortly. March Madness starts next week. With Spring on the horizon, a lot more tends to happen, and I couldn't be more excited with summer slowly (yet rapidly, figure that enigma out) approaching. S'gonna be a fun ride, and as always, I'll have updates along the way.

Peace!

-Zach

Sunday, February 8, 2009

"Turn Your Clock Back, Paint it Red on Black: Reflection 2004" - February 8, 2009

Those who know me well know how tremendously nostalgic I can be (I know for a fact Dale and Stacey have mocked that quality in me enough :D), which leads me to ask myself: How on Earth, after all the "Reflection" and filler blogs of the past, could I possibly forget to indulge in the year where the most change I ever experienced in my life? The answer? I have no idea.

To preface, this year was either going to end up (at the time) either the best year of my life or the worst year of my life. It was really that simple. In late 2003, my mother approached me, telling me the family was moving out of Chicago (to quote her, "maybe even out of state," which thankfully didn't happen) and we'd be spending most of the next year searching for a new home. I was crushed, that everyone thought I could very well leave everything I had established those past twelve years and just casually move on, leave my best friends of eight and six years, etc. So it didn't fly over easily.

After awhile, though, the idea was a bit more inviting, though most of me still didn't want to leave. It was change I had no possible way of preventing, so I had to accept it, even though 80% of me just wouldn't budge. Well, we found a house much sooner than any of us had ever expected (much to my chagrin, the more time we spent looking, the more time I had in Midway), and on February 1, 2004, we made a deal to move into Neuberry Ridge in Lockport, IL. This just so happened to be Super Bowl Sunday, so instead of watching the game with the family, they painted and started fixing up the house, while I quietly sat in my room listening to Rush (I was far from the rabid fan I am today, I even got tired of them and stopped listening for awhile), for the first time knowing I didn't have many more days left in there.

Much of my Spring revolved around telling my friends I was leaving, getting ready for the Cubs to hopefully repeat off their 2003 success, fixing up the house, and just thinking non-stop about everything. Did I take things for granted with people and my time here? I'm not going to see my grandma, grandpa, or uncle much anymore, will I? These thoughts weren't good, thoughts a twelve year old kid should have. And to be honest, the family didn't help. In the process I was mostly an outsider, one who pretty much kept his mouth shut on everything, which worked against me at times because I was needed for things and wouldn't give in, which caused a lot of tension between the family and I. I still stand by that attitude, since mentally, I just wasn't ready for something like this.

But in Spring, some rays of hope shined through. We got a new pup on the last weekend of March, which we named Snickers after much deliberation, who still lights up the house today with her joyfulness. On March 25, my favorite band of the time, Van Halen, announced they were reuniting with singer Sammy Hagar, recording three new songs for a new greatest hits package, and touring North America to support them. This is something my hyper twelve year old self never thought he'd ever see, his favorite singer reuniting with his favorite band. Tickets went on sale Saturday, May 1, and my dad promptly got tickets to the show.

I'll never forget hearing the new single, "It's About Time," for the first time on May 6, 2004 (I remember I was ready to watch the "Friends" finale, a show I never watch but had to see the spectacle as it was so over-hyped). I was sitting in my room, about 6:30 PM, window open enjoying the calm mid-Spring breeze, when Seaver on the Loop said they had a new Van Halen song after the break. Well, after going through "Comfortably Numb," this thick, pulsating guitar riff comes in. I said to myself "Nah, this has got to be some new band." But then, all the sudden, Sammy Hagar's vocals come up and Ed's signature guitar sound becomes apparent. It was the new Van Halen song, and I was stoked. Sure, it came out the day they announced the tour about a month prior, but with the hustle and bustle of moving, this was the first I time had the chance to listen to it. Hearing "Turn your clock back / paint it red on black" gave me hope for the concert on July 19!

May was a spectacular month that year, because I started to see a lot of friends more than usual, just getting as much time as I could in with them before I left, which at this point could've been July, maybe August, maybe even November! I remember spending Dale's birthday with him that year (and spending the weekend by his casa, making fun of our science teacher Mr. Malek's childhood photo and such), which conveniently fell on a Friday and we went to The Pit for dinner. He had announced to me he also got Van Halen tickets for his birthday, which excited us both. I also recall his father asking me if I'd ever heard of a band called "Velvet Revolver," consisting of the guys from Guns N' Roses and the singer of Stone Temple Pilots who were just on Leno the other night. Well, I hadn't, but it was just something else to look forward to. Clearly my musical mentality was growing tremendously at this point, and the weekend prior to Dale's birthday I'd buy my first Motley Crue album, which turned me into the rabid Crue fan I am today.

School eventually let out on June 4 (my last day ever at St. Dans), which just so happened to be the day Mark Prior returned from the disabled list (funny, he gave up only two hits and ended up with a loss). Excellent way to begin the summer already! Mostly everyday over the summer I'd take a walk or take my bike out in the evening, usually meeting up with and hanging out with friends, whether it be just going around, chilling at Byrne, playing baseball, among other things, usually until the night rolled in. My friends made my last summer there incredible, and surely helped me in remembering them as I moved on.

If I wasn't out with them, chances are it was a quiet evening in the house, usually with me cranking out the Loop while I played MVP Baseball 04 on the PS2 or All Star Baseball 05 on the XBOX. I remember the first time I heard the mystery band Velvet Revolver on the radio, when "Slither" debuted on the Loop while I was "modernizing" my Cubs roster on MVP 04. I just remember sitting there thinking "Well damn, that kicked some ass!" This just led to a cycle that was the Contraband (VR's first album) craze I went through surrounding the rest of 2004.

June also meant a new season of Whose Line is it Anyway?, my favorite show of the time. I remember being so stoked for the start of the new season, and it really didn't disappoint (despite the fact that they were all throwaways from past seasons). Sadly, the day after the debut, we had to put our chocolate lab of eight years, Mocha, to sleep. She was always very pleasant and personable (though Sean always felt like she was gonna bite his hands off :D), and it was sad to see her go.

July provided some interesting fireworks (haha, pun). I started the month off by going to a Cubs game on the first, against Houston. I'll never forget Mark Prior pitching a fantastic game in seven innings, with the Cubs up 4-1, and Kent Mercker allowing a three-run homer to Carlos Beltran RIGHT after Prior was taken out, tying the game. Sammy Sosa won it in the ninth with a walk-off homer, luckily. July also meant my last Fourth of July in Chicago. We went up to Wisconsin to buy our illegal fireworks (heh) and put on one last show at the house. I remember retiring early to watch the Cubs / Sox game on ESPN, which the Cubs won in the ninth on a bases-loaded walk taken by Todd Walker. Another great game that week!

I spent much of July doing the same things I was doing in June, only the visits we'd make to the ground where the new house was being built were more frequent, meaning more long trips and more times eating out with the family. I remember one night listening to Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home," under a cloudless sky on a 70 degree early summer night heading home from the new house area, which was so appropriate considering everything, and pretty much helped me appreciate everything around me just a little more. A reason why I'll never tire of that song.

July 19 came around, which was the date of the Van Halen concert. I was asked recently to rank my Top 5 favorite concerts (since I've seen so many bands) and this came in around the #3 spot. What a great show, caught it in the "magic" period between July 3 and July 20 where not one single show was bad (considering how many awful performances were on this tour thanks to Eddie Van Halen's alcohol problem). Definitely a concert I'll never forget. I also remember going to Best Buy the day after to buy the Greatest Hits package VH released, and mom lost her keys for work at the store. We frantically looked around, and when we gave up, we just cranked VH in the car on the way home.

I remember I spent the following weekend at Dale's the last time I'd see him until he stayed over by my place Thanksgiving weekend. It was awkward at first, and my voice was still shot from the show. But eventually, we got into our niche and just had fun like we always did. Listened to VH, played GameCube (Sonic the Hedgehog, man!), just relaxed. It was a blast, and I'll always remember it as the last time I'd stay there while living in Chicago. The Thursday after that weekend, Uncle Tom and I went to see Spiderman 2 downtown, and figured we'd visit the beauty that was (at the time, brand new) Millenium Park in the process. After returning back to his house, I sat down with my grandpa, watched the Simpsons, Everybody Loves Raymond, and the Cubs game whilst having chicken for dinner. I think that was the last day I spent at their house before moving as well. What a shame.

July ended with the last time I'd hang out with friends. I spent the majority of that Friday (which was July 30) with Kurt Mueller, Jackie Kwasny, and others who came in and out. At the time, I had no idea this would be THE last time I'd really hang out with any of these people (at least until May 2005), but once I actually left, I felt bad that I never got the chance to really add closure to ANY relationship I had out there, not just those two. Still, it was definitely a great night for what it was.

August came around, and nothing too noteworthy happened outside of Greg Maddux winning his 300th game with the Cubs against the San Francisco Giants. I do recall heading out to the area where the house was being built with my mother a few days prior to that, and listening to the Cubs and newly acquired Shortstop Nomar Garciaparra rape the Rockies on the radio. Clearly, I have a lot of fond memories with that 2004 team, despite the fact that they'd become whiney bitches by the end of the year (will explain later).

August 12, 2004: The day my life changed forever. We closed on the house, it was completely built, and we moved in. It was gloomy, perfect fit, really, since that was pretty much the mood of everyone. Just a very somber day all around, and when I said goodbye to that house on 52nd and Nottingham, I realized I was saying goodbye to my history and saying hello to a new beginning, one I wasn't looking forward to.

I started school at Taft, which was a massive dump compared to what St. Dans was, but it was still a nice change of scenery: small town school filled with small town people. Not really my thing, and after five years living here, it still really isn't. Regardless, I made fast friends, and they know who they are. I already indulged in 7th grade in a blog back in October, no need to continue now.

The rest of the year, well, it's a lot like death to birth. A part of me died on August 12, leaving behind all I established and all the friends I'd made. But a part of me had been born again, starting from scratch, everything...different. All I could really remember was my grandpa coming out once a week to pick my sister and I up from school, my Velvet Revolver craze expanding to it's farthest extent, the 2004 Cubs season ending on the worst note possible (89 wins and no postseason because of whiney bitches like Alou, Mercker, Sosa, and Dusty, and of course, losing Chip and Steve as the team's voices didn't help), and establishing a new beginning in my new home.

I was a totally different person at the end of 2004 than I was at the beginning of it, and quite frankly, the person I am today has been a gradual improvement over the one everyone saw at the end of 2004. Every change that happened to me personally in '04 was very rapid, there was really no time to realize it until years later, but the ones that have happened since have been very noticable, since it all comes so slowly.

That's a little insight to those who didn't know about my history before Lockport, and a little insight into how different a person I am because of everything that's happened since the move actually happened. I'll always say that moving out of Chicago was one of the worst things to ever happen to me, since I've never totally felt like I've fit in here in the five years I've been here. But, I've met some fantastic people, ones who I'd hope I can keep around for a very long time (of course, there's VERY few of you guys), and for that, well, at least something good came out of the move.

Still, I have every intention of heading back up there for college, so once I graduate high school, you bet yer ass I'm heading back where I belong. Until that time, eh, I think I'll make the most of what's on my plate now.

-Zach

"Top 20 Cubs Games" - February 8, 2009

This is a VERY long post. I don’t expect you all to read the whole thing, but you can at least check out the game dates, results, etc.

The Cubs Convention was a couple weekends ago, which for me, calls for the beginning of the 2009 baseball season! In this period between the Convention and pitchers and catchers reporting to Mesa, Arizona on February 13, I figured I’d give one of my traditional “filler blogs” to fill the void.

Background on this, this 2009 season will be my 14th season as a Chicago Cubs fan (1996-Present), and I’ve seen a ton of spectacular games (as well as heartbreaking ones) in that period of time. A lot of them stick around in my memory, and I even have some of them in my DVD / VHS archive! It’s been a fantastic fourteen years so far, and I figured I’d share some of those memories with you.

So, clearly by the title, I will be ranking my Top 20 favorite Cubs games, and I will divide each description into two parts: Where I was and what I was doing throughout the course of the game, and what actually happened in the game thus allowing it to be on this list. Unlike my usual “ranked” blogs, I’m going to count down on this from twenty to one, just to try something a bit different. You all get the idea, but first, so we don’t end the blog on a bad note, I’m going to list the worst Cubs game I’ve ever witnessed in my fourteen years.

October 3, 2004 vs. Atlanta Braves (W 10-8)

Where I was: It was the final game of the season, so as you can imagine, it was a lazy Sunday just watching baseball. Not much of a background to this one, honestly.

What happened: The Cubs actually pulled off a 10-8 victory in the nine inning ballgame, great offensive performances by Moises Alou, Aramis Ramirez, and Mark Grudzielanek. The problem? Any Cubs fan aware of the 2004 season knows that this was Chip Caray and Steve Stone’s last season with the Cubs, because Kent Mercker, Moises Alou, and Dusty Baker all had problems with Chip and Steve’s honesty about how poorly the Cubs had played despite their 89 wins. Steve’s saying “This was a team that should’ve won the Wild Card by twelve games, but because Dusty didn’t have control over his team, that didn’t happen” pissed off Dusty and the players, thus forcing Steve to decline a contract extension after 21 years with the club and Chip Caray shown the door. Saddest thing is, they were right, and now we’re stuck with two ass-kissing broadcasters until 2012.

Sammy Sosa also decided to arrive to the ballpark five minutes before game-time, thus forcing Dusty to start Jason Dubois (who homered in the game) in right field instead of Sammy. Sosa was fined a large sum of money by the team and eventually traded to the Baltimore Orioles in January 2005. It was the most bitter tasting Cubs victory I could remember, and may attribute as to why I didn’t pay much attention to the 2005 Cubs, probably from my utter disgust.

And now, for the good moments!

#20 – September 1-4, 2003 vs. St. Louis Cardinals

Where I was:
I had just recently started sixth grade, so outside of the Labor Day off-day I had on September 1, I spent the majority of the time either watching the night games or the conclusions of day games after returning home from school.

What happened: This was a tremendously important series for the Cubs, because it was a rat race between the Cubs, Cardinals, and Houston Astros for first in the NL Central. Due to a rain out that May, a double-header was scheduled for September, making this a five game series. Cubs won the first game of the series 7-0, with assistance from a solo homer by Eric Karros. The next day was the day of the double-header. Game 1 was a 15-inning thriller ending with a Sammy Sosa walk-off, two-run shot against former Cub long-reliever Jeff Fassero. The second game was a St. Louis victory, but the Cubs got gypped. Moises Alou lined a double down the line kicking up the chalk dust, but the umpire signaled it foul, resulting in his ejection. Journalists GRILLED the ump for missing the chalk in the air, because if the ball hits the line, it’s a fair ball. The Cubs fell 2-0 despite a phenomenal start by Kerry Wood.

That road block didn’t stop the Cubs. The fourth game of the series set off more fireworks, as the Cubs came back from a 7-3 deficit going into the bottom of the seventh before heroics from Alex Gonzalez and Mark Grudzielanek helped the Cubs to a five run rally in the last two innings to help the Cubs win 8-7. In the fifth and final game, there was a lot of flip-flopping with the lead, before the Cubs eventually took control in the bottom of the seventh following a Tony Womack RBI single, leading them to a 7-6 victory.

The Cubs taking four of five from St. Louis effectively ended their season, and kept the Cubs’ season alive. Perhaps the biggest series and most exciting series (outside of Milwaukee in September ’98) I’ve seen in my life. I may put multiple games down the list, but I put this series at #20 because five games is a bit much and thus an unfair advantage over other games. Perhaps the most important series the Cubs have ever played in my lifetime.

#19 – May 9, 2004 vs. Colorado Rockies (W 5-4)

Where I was:
I remember this day tremendously. It was Mother’s Day 2004, and we were set to go to a family brunch with my grandma, grandpa, and uncle at Willowbrook. My grandpa kept hustling out to the car to figure out what the score was. I remember the sixth inning interview on WGN 720 with Jeff Garlin (who sang the seventh inning stretch that day) being one of the funniest things I ever heard on a Cubs game. We were in and out, whether it be the restaurant, or their house, or my house, and each time we tuned in, something different was happening.

What happened: It was a warm day at Wrigley Field. The Cubs started early with a lead-off home run by recently called up second baseman Damian Jackson (who only played a few games) in the bottom of the first. Runs were scattered here and there, and three rain delays and assorted runs here and there, the game was taken to the tenth inning tied 3-3. Closer Joe Borowski came in to fill a void from the pen and quickly surrendered a homer to Todd Helton, putting the Rockies ahead 4-3.

My grandpa’s “You never know until the last man is out” saying never held more true, because with two outs, Aramis Ramirez crushed a homer over the left-center field wall into the street, tying it again 4-4. The Cubs eventually won in the bottom of the twelfth on a double by Corey Patterson. The back-and-forth of the game was definitely a memorable one, and the perseverance of the Cubs was respectable.

#18 – July 31, 1999 vs. New York Mets (W 17-10)

Where I was:
This was one of the hottest days I’d ever experienced in my life, which was a hot topic during the Cubs game, both on TV and the radio (and a nice memory to have, got me a free coffee at Dunkin Donuts on a trivia question!). The day of the trading deadline and, let’s face it, the Cubs were done that season, so nobody expected the Cubs to do anything. I spent most of the day either at my grandpa’s or on the road with him.

What happened: It was one of those high-scoring games you just don’t forget. The Cubs struck starter Octavio Dotel (yes, he actually started!) for seven runs in the first inning, led by a Gary Gaetti grand slam. After three Met runs in the top of the second thanks to a Robin Ventura home run, the Cubs would score two more against Dotel in the second thanks to a Sammy Sosa two-run blast before Mets skipper Bobby Valentine decided to pull his starter. With a 9-3 lead, the Cubs should be comfortable, yes? No!

The Mets would score six more runs by the fifth inning thanks to another Ventura home run against Cubs starter Jon Lieber, tying the game 9-9. But this awful Cubs club was resilient, and they proved it in this game. The Cubs would go on to score eight more runs compared to just one by the Mets, led by homers by Jose Hernandez and Sosa, thus resulting in a 17-10 Cubs victory.

#17 – March 29, 2000 at New York Mets (W 5-3)

Where I was:
The Cubs and Mets were the first American baseball teams to play baseball in Tokyo, Japan. This was their opening series of the regular season, and the Cubs had a new look with manager Don Baylor and players like Eric Young, Damon Buford, Joe Girardi, and Willie Greene. Because the games were in Japan, they started at four in the morning here, as it was the evening there. My mother would wake my eight year old self up at five to watch the games (I would tape them so I could reflect later, SO glad I did). I’d play Pokemon Yellow while eating breakfast and watching the Cubs game. What a way to start the day!

What happened: Amidst all this excitement, there was baseball to be played. This game is important because the Cubs made an early statement in a foreign land, which was important for the team. The Cubs struck early with an RBI single by Damon Buford, but by the third the Mets would tie it up. After the Cubs took a 2-1 lead in the fifth, it was a story of the long-ball. Shane Andrews hammered a two run jack off Dennis Cook making it a 4-1 game in the seventh, and in the eighth Mark Grace slapped a solo homer off Rich Rodriguez. The Mets would not go down quietly, however, because Big Mike Piazza simply destroyed a two run homer off the just horrendous Cubs reliever Brian Williams. But, Rick Aguilera would shut down the Mets in the ninth and the Cubs won opening day in Japan against the future NL Champions. Thought it wasn’t something for fans to get used to, as they’d only win 64 more and lose about 97 before all was said and done.

#16 – October 6, 2001 vs. Pittsburgh Pirates (W 13-2)

Where I was:
It was a lazy Saturday on the last weekend of the season (extended due to the 9/11 attacks). The Cubs, who were contenders most of the season, lost their Wild Card spot on October 2, so didn’t have much to play for. Little did we know, after this tremendously fun game, Arne Harris, the Cubs’ camera director who was loved by so many fans, players, and broadcasters for 40+ years, would die later that evening, setting a very dark, somber mood on what I’d like to call “Black Sunday.” Though it wasn’t official, I consider this game to be the last game of the wonderful 2001 season.

What happened: The Cubs attacked early and attacked very, very often. They scored three runs in the first courtesy of a Roosevelt Brown homer driving in all three off Pittsburgh starter Tony McKnight. It didn’t stop there, however. Sammy Sosa would come up with an inside the park homer in the third, his 63rd of the season and easily capping off the greatest offensive season by an individual in Cubs history (yes, he hit 66 in 1998, but overall, with average and RBIs, 2001 was his best season). Fred McGriff would follow with another homer, going back-to-back with Sammy. One of the evening’s surprises was inconsistent starter Julian Tavarez, who only allowed one hit in 7 1/3 innings, and didn’t allow that hit until the seventh inning. The Cubs touched up the Pirate bullpen for six runs in the eighth (thanks to another three-run homer by Roosevelt Brown, giving him seven RBIs on the game).

This game is here in the memory of Arne Harris’ last game with us and the Chicago Cubs. RIP Arne.

#15 – May 16, 1996 vs. Houston Astros (W 13-1)

Where I was:
Sleeping over at my grandfather’s. It’s such an old game I really don’t have much of a memory behind this one.

What happened: It was Amaury Telemaco’s first career start, a name a lot of Cubs fans (including myself) seem to remember for absolutely no reason whatsoever. The Cubs attacked early on a Leo Gomez three-run homer off Doug Drabek in the second inning, and the Cubs would score two more runs in the third to go up 5-0. Fast-forward to the seventh inning. Sammy Sosa hit a solo homer off Jeff Tabaka to lead off the inning, followed shortly by Scott Servais jacking a two-run blast off Tabaka leading to his departure. After a few assorted runs, Sosa homered again that same inning, this time a two-run shot off Jim Dougherty. This eight-run seventh inning resulted in a 13-0 Cubs lead, eventually leading to a 13-1 Cubs win.

#14 – June 10, 2005 vs. Boston Red Sox (W 14-6)

Where I was:
Hmm, I was there! One of the few times I’ll take a game I was at and incorporate it in a list like this. The atmosphere was rabid, and rightfully so. Cubs vs. Red Sox, an ol’ school baseball match-up, the 2004 defending world champs vs. the…Cubs (haha). The histories of these two franchises colliding against each other was definitely worth the price of admission, and what a great day for a baseball game!

What happened: Lucky for me, I got to catch a Greg Maddux start, against the BoSox starter Bronsan Arroyo. The Cubs weren’t intimidated by the Red Sox, and thanks to homers by Todd Hollandsworth and Jeromy Burnitz, the Cubs were ahead 3-0 by the second inning. The Cubs scored four more in the bottom of the third and led 7-1 by the top of the sixth. David Ortiz homered off Maddux, but the Cubs immediately answered back in the bottom half of the inning with another homer by Burnitz and a surprising home run by Maddux himself. So the Cubs led 11-2. Despite a rough end with Cliff Bartosh allowing homers to Ortiz and ex-Cub Mark Bellhorn in the top of the ninth, the Cubs would pull out a 14-6 victory, a huge win for the Cubs beating the defending world champs.

#13 – June 7, 2003 vs. New York Yankees (W 5-2)

Where I was:
Ahh, this one was special. I watched up to about the fifth inning at my house, and listened to the rest of the game on the radio. This was the first Saturday of my summer vacation and there was no better way to start it than a marquee match-up between the red-hot Cubs and Yankees on national television.

What happened: It was the pitching match-up of the year, Roger Clemens (searching for career win number 300) vs. Kerry Wood, the past vs. the future. First we saw an eerie collision between Wood and first baseman Hee Seop Choi, stopping the game for twenty minutes and Choi lying on the first base line, not moving, unconscious for about ten minutes before being carted off (his career was never the same again). The promotion of said pitching match-up delivered, with the Yankees striking first in the fifth inning courtesy of a Hideki Matsui homer against Wood. There was a combined sixteen strikeouts between both starters, until Clemens was pulled after allowing a hit to Sammy Sosa and walking Moises Alou in the bottom of the seventh, and Juan Acevedo was put in to pitch. Immediately after coming in, Eric Karros (Choi’s replacement at first) slapped a three run shot into the left-field stands giving the Cubs the lead, and thus breaking Clemens’ fourth attempt at 300. I’ll never forget borrowing my mother’s radio while we were in the Home Depot and going nuts after he hit that homer, one of my most memorable Cub moments. The Cubs would score two more runs, and eventually win the game 5-2.

#12 – June 29, 2007 vs. Milwaukee Brewers (W 6-5)

Where I was:
At home, it was a lazy Friday afternoon over my summer break, and the Cubs were surging, just one game away from a .500 record of 39-39. The Cubs had a six game winning streak coming in, sweeping both the White Sox and Rockies in that order, helping them substantially in the standings. Many consider this to be the best game of the last ten years, clearly, I don’t. But this was a big deal.

What happened: It wasn’t a good start. Rich Hill immediately gave up a three-run homer in the first against Kevin Mench, and with a couple of assorted runs, the division-leading Brewers were ahead 5-0 early. But the Cubs weren’t going down easy. By the ninth inning and RBIs from Cliff Floyd and Mike Fontenot, the Cubs were trailing 5-3 in the ninth. The Cubs touched up closer Francisco Cordero early that inning, and a Derrek Lee RBI drew the score within just one run. Aramis Ramirez was up, and with the Cubs recent luck, you had the feeling that SOMETHING would happen. Well, it did, and resulted in what could be one of the more memorable homers in the past ten years. Ramirez hit a two-run game winner, defeating the Mighty Milwaukee Brewers 6-5.

#11 – April 16, 2004 vs. Cincinnati Reds (W 11-10)

Where I was:
My grandpa always picked up my sister and I from school when we went to St. Dans, so I watched the first half of the game by him, and the other half at home. This was a very interesting game, one of those back-and-forth games that’s always exciting until the very end.

What happened: This was possibly the most unusual back-and-forth game I can remember. Started off poorly for the Cubs, with starter Sergio Mitre loading the bases and surrendering two runs early to the Reds. The Cubs answered quickly, however, doing the same against then-rookie Aaron Harang. The Reds would score two more in the top of the third, only to be answered again by the Cubs via back-to-back homers from Moises Alou and Aramis Ramirez. The game was quiet until the top of the sixth, when Mitre was pulled for Michael Wuertz. In only a third of an inning, he managed to walk a guy, give up a two-run homer to D’Angelo Jimenez (only 36 career homers in eight seasons), a massive two-run home run to Ken Griffey Jr. (which he just destroyed), and another run on a double. So, in the blink of an eye, Wuertz surrenders five in only a third, making the score 9-4 Reds. The Cubs, being resilient, scored one in the bottom of the inning, and proved they weren’t out just yet.

Master of the Double Switch Dusty Baker made a mistake in the seventh inning, apparently not penciling Ramon Martinez’s pinch hit appearance in the #9 slot. Martinez doubled, which was taken back, leading to a tirade perhaps more intense than Lou Piniella’s famous June 2, 2007 tirade. Dusty was ejected, but this clearly fired up the Cubs. They scored two runs off doubles by Ramirez and Alou and now were only down 9-7. Kyle Farnsworth in typical fashion decides to make it even further out of reach, giving up a big solo homer to Wily Mo Pena. The Cubs bounced back again, though, with Todd Hollandsworth hitting a two run homer to right making the score 10-9. In the bottom of the ninth, the Cubs had one last chance. Sammy Sosa hit a solo home run (his 512th as a Cub, tying Ernie Banks’ all-time team record), followed by a Moises Alou homer. The only time I ever remember the Cubs going back-to-back to win a ballgame. Immediately, my phone rang, and my grandfather pretty much shouted “Were you watching the game? Incredible, huh!?”

#10 – June 25, 2007 vs. Colorado Rockies (W 10-9)

Where I was: Initially I was heading home from my uncle’s place, listening to the beginning of the game on the radio (and being subsequently caught behind a train for a half hour). When I returned home, I simply sat down with the family and just watched the game.

What happened: The Rockies touched up Jason Marquis early on, scoring a run in the first. That didn’t stop the Cubs from hitting Jeff Francis harder in the bottom of the inning, off an RBI single from Mark DeRosa and three-run homer from Angel Pagan. The Cubs scored extra runs in the third and fifth innings, before Colorado answered back with two in the top of the sixth. Most runs were being scored off slap base hits, doubles, or careless base runners from walks. The Cubs scored more runs in the bottom of the sixth and bottom of the eighth, taking an 8-3 lead by the ninth. Scott Eyre came into pitch, who successfully walked two and allowed three hits, driving in three runs for the Rox. Just like that, it’s an 8-6 ballgame. Enter Home Run Howry to save the day, which didn’t happen. He too allowed three hits including a three-run homer to Troy Tulowitzki, and just like that, the Rockies now had a 9-8 lead. One fan was so angry he jumped out of his seat and charged Howry on the hill!

Everyone in the family retired off to bed, as the game was a lost cause. Being the fool I am, I wanted to watch the end, and I’m very glad I did. Mike Fontenot started the inning with a hit (who went 5-5 that day), followed by hits from Theriot, DeRosa, and Koyie Hill. The Cubs had driven in a run with those at-bats, tying the score 9-9. Brian Fuentes, one of the most reliable closers in the game, allowed a single up the middle to Alfonso Soriano with Hill scoring from third. My mom ran down the stairs and asked “Did you see that!?” I sure did, Cubs win 10-9.

#9 – May 30, 2008 vs. Colorado Rockies (W 10-9)

Where I was:
First of all, what are the odds of having two 10-9 scores next to each other on this list, in sequential order by season, against the same team? Funny thing is, both were two totally different games. It was the second day of my summer break, and it started off with a rain delay, so I didn’t miss anything by sleeping in. I watched it on my computer, stopped for awhile, checked back in and decided to stick with it. I’m glad I did.

What happened: Ted Lilly had one of his “bad” starts (those who know Lilly know he’s VERY dominant when he’s good, and absolutely horrendous when he’s bad). Lilly didn’t even manage to go a complete three innings, allowing seven runs in those innings, including a two run homer to Todd Helton in the first and a three run shot by Chris Ianetta in the third. The Cubs scored one in the bottom of the third, but Colorado struck again, with Ryan Spilbourghs hitting a homer off pitching replacement Jon Lieber in the fourth, and another run scored in the top of the fifth. Colorado was winning 9-1, and most teams by this point would’ve given up (and Lou Piniella almost did, pulling Soto from behind the plate and Lee from first base).

But the one special thing about the 2008 Cubs was their resiliency (except in the playoffs). The Cubs scored three runs in the bottom of the sixth courtesy of homers by Kosuke Fukudome and Jim Edmonds (which officially endeared himself to Cubs fans), but that wasn’t even the start of the fun. Micah Hoffpauir started the seventh with a double off Aaron Cook, only to be followed by a Henry Blanco home run. Colorado’s unreliable closer Manny Corpas came in and only made things worse, giving up doubles to Fukudome and Edmonds, and suddenly, the score was 9-8 Colorado. Mark DeRosa stepped up and smashed a two-run homer to left field, and just like that, the Cubs had a 10-9 lead. Perhaps the most remarkable comeback I’ve ever seen in a Cubs game (though #8 gives this a huge run for its money), and Blackhawks legend Bobby Hull was loving every minute of it (he was the seventh inning stretch conductor). The Cubs bullpen held it down and won by a 10-9 score.

#8 – September 18, 2008 vs. Milwaukee Brewers (W 7-6)

Where I was:
The Cubs had two remarkable comeback games in 2008, and if I could place them in a tie, I would. Just because this is ranked ahead doesn’t mean it was better, you just can’t place them in a tie because they were so different from each other. This was the day of the homecoming parade at school, an event I desperately wanted to avoid, especially with the Cubs so close to clinching the division and the game starting at 1:20 (Parade or game? Dumb question). So I had Subway, and when I returned home, I promptly turned on the game. My mom surprisingly got off work that day so we watched the game together, even when it looked its worst.

What happened: The Cubs were playing the rival Milwaukee Brewers, who pretty much no longer provided a threat to the team’s progress in advancing to the postseason. The game started off roughly, with a near 40-pitch first inning from starter Rich Harden, walking a number of guys, and Mark DeRosa’s error at second base didn’t necessarily help. Luckily, the Brew Crew only ran away with one run that inning. The Cubs fought back early, with a Jim Edmonds home run in the second to tie it up. The Cubs did eventually manage to take a lead, with Aramis Ramirez homering in the fourth to put them ahead by one. But it went downhill from there for the Cubs, very quickly. Harden was pulled in the sixth, and Jeff Samardzija was put in there which proved to be a big mistake by the Cubs coaching staff. He allowed four runs, mostly on walks and slap singles, and the Brewers were suddenly up 6-2. Nobody-pitcher Randy Wells came in and shut the Brewers down, but it seemed bleak for the Cubs for the majority of the game.

However, this is another display of the team’s startling resiliency. Ryan Theriot and Derrek Lee were two quick outs in the bottom of the ninth. But Ramirez attempted to start a rally with a lead-off double, which was followed up by a Jim Edmonds RBI single, making it a 6-3 game. Mark DeRosa quickly followed with a single, moving Edmonds to third. Up stepped Geovany Soto, future National League Rookie of the Year. First pitch from Brewers closer Solomon Torres was just crushed over the left field wall for a three-run homer, and in the blink of an eye, the Cubs tied the game with two outs in the bottom of the ninth. That’s about as clutch as it gets.

So we move on into extra innings, with Carlos Marmol and Seth McClung respectively mowing down their opposition. The Brewers scared the Cubs briefly against Kerry Wood, but brilliant defensive alignments halted their progress. In the bottom of the eleventh, Jim Edmonds was thrown out in the middle of an at-bat for arguing balls and strikes, a huge lapse in judgment by home plate ump Ed Rapuano if you ask me (the ball was six inches off the plate!). Felix Pie stood in for the at-bat and coaxed a walk, but that was meaningless as the Cubs couldn’t string anything together. The Cubs started fighting in the bottom of the twelfth, with Reed Johnson drawing a walk and Jason Marquis pinch running for him. Soriano drew a walk as well, and heads up base-running by both put them at second and third with two outs (Soriano’s run didn’t matter, but heads up either way). Derrek Lee fought in his at-bat, after going 0-5 for the day, and quickly slapped a single into center to drive in Marquis and help the Cubs to a 7-6 victory. Now, homecoming parade or Cubs game, I ask you? (hah)

#7 – September 21, 1997 vs. Philadelphia Phillies (W 11-3)

Where I was:
Ahh, the early-late ‘90s, where on every Sunday my mother, sister and I would head over to the grandparents’ place for lunch/dinner. My grandpa, uncle and I would watch a Cubs game while my sister, grandma, and mother would stay in the kitchen, probably watching the Cubs game as well whenever they weren’t doing anything. This wasn’t your typical Sunday afternoon baseball game, though. The horrendous 1997 Chicago Cubs were playing their last home game of the year, capping off a then-66-90 season in grand style against the Phils. Not to mention, it would be (my personal favorite baseball player ever) Ryne Sandberg’s last ever game with the Chicago Cubs. We didn’t know it until February 1998, but it would also be Harry Caray’s last home broadcast before passing on.

What happened: Who knew the Cubs would attack so vehemently on a guy like Curt Schilling so early on? Sandberg started the game appropriately with a double, driven in by Mark Grace putting the Cubs up 1-0. Starter Kevin Tapani allowed his first run a half-inning later, giving up an RBI single to Tony Barron, tying the game. The game would be scoreless until the bottom of the fifth, when the Cubs exploded for five runs courtesy of two-run homers from Lance Johnson and Mark Grace, as well as a solo shot from Dave Hansen. Schilling was pulled and the Cubs were up 6-1. Tapani allowed an RBI double to Rico Brogna in the sixth, which would be the only other run he surrendered. The Cubs struck again in the seventh, with Jose Hernandez slapping a three-run shot off Ryan Karp to put the Cubs up 9-2. After scoring two more in the bottom of the eighth going up 11-2, and Rodney Myers giving up one more run to Philly in the top of the ninth, the Cubs won 11-3 in exciting blowout fashion.

This game is very important, as it signals the end to the career of one of the Cubs’ greatest players and the final broadcast of one of baseball’s greatest voices. Hearing Harry sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame now, knowing just what was going to happen five months later, is almost eerie, but in another sense tear-jerking knowing it would be the last time we’d ever hear it. RIP Harry Caray, we sure miss you down here!

#6 – August 7, 2004 at San Francisco Giants (W 8-4)

Where I was:
The last thing I was going to do was miss this game. Greg Maddux (my favorite pitcher in the history of baseball) was aiming for his 300th victory that afternoon, a feat accomplished by only a handful of others in baseball’s illustrious history. He attempted to get the win the prior Sunday against the Phillies, a game the Cubs won but didn’t draw a lead until after Maddux was pulled, giving him a no-decision. I turned on the game on my awful, big-screen Zenith TV in the living room and didn’t have to force the family to watch the game, since they were too busy preparing for us to move in a week. We headed to dinner around five that day (early by our standards), and I was listening to the game on the radio there, and watched it over the corner of our booth at Max and Erma’s to see history made. I didn’t miss a second of this one, and I’m very happy about that.

What happened: At first it didn’t even seem like the Cubs wanted to get the win for Maddux, with the offense slumping and Maddux clearly struggling to find a groove. The Giants went up 3-0 by the third inning, with RBI doubles by A.J. Pierzynski and Edgardo Alfonso, and an RBI triple from Ray Durham. But the Cubs were ready to come back, and with big RBI doubles by Aramis Ramirez and Todd Walker, the Cubs took a 4-3 lead by the fifth, and a Corey Patterson two-run blast in the top of the sixth put them up 6-3, giving Maddux a decent lead.

But Maddux ran into some trouble, allowing an RBI single to Deivi Cruz without the ability to retire a hitter to cut the lead to two, and Dusty Baker figured it was time to pull his starter. Could the Cubs’ generally-inconsistent bullpen hold down the fort? Looks like it. The Giants were kept silent by John Leicester, Kent Mercker, Mike Remlinger, Kyle Farnsworth, and LaTroy Hawkins, and were even given a little extra insurance in the top of the eighth on a two-run homer by Moises Alou. In the end, Hawkins was able to shut down the Giants in the ninth and the Cubs helped Greg Maddux to his 300th career win. The Giants fans even gave a standing ovation for the classy right-hander, proof that Maddux is a universal favorite amongst baseball fans and will happily go into the Hall as one of the most dominant, clean, and generous baseball players alive. I’m sure he’d disagree, as modest as he is, but there’s no doubt about it.

#5 – September 28, 1998 vs. San Francisco Giants (W 5-3)

Where I was:
Ahh yes, the all-elusive 163rd game of the season, a game which happened only five other times before this one, all for the same purpose: to clinch a playoff spot. This game was HUGE for the Cubs, with this being only their second winning team since 1989 and the first playoff contender since then. It was the biggest event in Chicago at the time, got tremendous media coverage, and with Michael Jordan throwing out the first pitch (and giving Sammy Sosa a hug afterwards for his phenomenal season), every big name in Chicago was there, supporting their team. I was spending the night at my grandpa’s, and decided to stay up late to catch the conclusion of the game, and boy was I glad I did that!

What happened: The game was quiet for the most part, only noteworthy thing being Cubs starter Steve Trachsel taking a no-hitter into the seventh inning before it was finally broken up. The first runs proved to be HUGE, which was a two-run blast by late-season pickup Gary Gaetti over the left-field wall in the fifth inning, striking a massive blow to the pace the Giants had the Cubs at during the game (one could argue this was one of the biggest home runs in Cub history, for many factors). The Cubs knew they couldn’t stop there, as they piled on two more runs in the sixth, with Matt Mieske (subbing in for the injured Henry Rodriguez) slapping a two-run single into right.

The Cubs were up 4-0 for most of the game, and Mark Grace doubled off Giants closer Jose Mesa to add another insurance run putting them up 5-0. The game, however, wasn’t over, and the Giants made that very clear. Jim Riggleman proved he had absolutely no idea how to utilize a bullpen in the postseason, throwing Kevin Tapani out to pitch for no reason at all (he had just started the previous Friday). Well, Tapani proved he was out of place, giving up three hits and a two-run triple to J.T. Snow. Exit Tapani, enter Terry Mulholland. Yes, Mulholland was awesome in 1998, but he just started the previous day and had absolutely no business being out there again. He gave up a couple hits, which resulted in a run, making the score 5-3. Riggleman finally started to think clearly, pulling Mulholland to have reliable closer Rod Beck pitch the rest of the ninth, and he shut ‘em down instantly. Joe Carter popped out to Mark Grace (appropriately the only member of the 1989 team on the current roster), ending the game with a Cubs playoff berth. I’ll never forget the celebration, as it was the first Cub clincher of (currently) four I would see in my lifetime. It was a happy time to be a Cubs fan, and surely was fun while it lasted (no need to dwell on the awful postseason). A 163rd game is unique in its own way, and with the Cubs winning it makes it all the more important to Cub history.

#4 – September 14, 2008 at Houston Astros (W 5-0)

Where I was:
Any Cubs fan reading this blog should understand the significance of this game as Carlos Zambrano’s no-hitter, so I won’t give too much of a background, other than the fact that while it was technically AT Houston, the game was still played at Milwaukee’s Miller Park (or Wrigley Field North based on the magnitude of Cub fans there) due to the dangers of Hurricane Ike and the time near the Texas area. So it was definitely a special game for that reason alone. I initially headed to my grandma’s for the day with the family, but we returned home just in time for the game. I pretty much spent the whole game on my couch in front of my Samsung, like I do for any Cub game these days.

What happened: The Cubs wasted no time jumping ahead, with Alfonso Soriano leading off the game with a solo home run, putting the Cubs up 1-0. Zambrano needed a good start, and after his first two innings he was cruising right along. The Cubs offense took advantage of the near-Wrigley scenery, with Derrek Lee and Geovany Soto getting clutch doubles helping the team to a four run third, putting them ahead 5-0. This score would remain consistent throughout the course of the game.

But the score wasn’t all that mattered in this game. Zambrano was cruising right along, walking just one guy and not allowing a hit yet. By the seventh inning, you start to think in the back of your mind “Wow, he’s pitching a no-hitter this late in the game!?” Of course you’d never say it, under the superstition that you’d jinx it. Well, by the ninth inning, the 23,000 fans who migrated from Chicago to see this game were on their feet, and ESPN interrupted the White Sox / Tigers game to broadcast this historic event. Zambrano got the first two out with ease, but then had to face the pesky Darin Erstad. Erstad took the count 3-2 and fought off a few pitches to keep the at-bat alive. Big Z threw a heavy slider that Erstad chucked at and just like that, Carlos Zambrano had pitched the first Cubs no-hitter since Milt Pappas in 1972. A moment I personally never thought I’d see in my lifetime had just occurred, and I think I actually shed some tears of happiness. It was a great game, and not only that, it shrunk the Cubs’ magic number to seven games, with a big series against the Milwaukee Brewers coming up later that week.

#3 – May 6, 1998 vs. Houston Astros (W 2-0)

Where I was:
First, a little background. I found it easy to rank these pitching performances because, well, you see no-hitters every season, sometimes a couple times (like 2008). But when a guy can strike out 20 men in only his fifth major league start, that’s real dominance that we’ve seen only four times in baseball history. So naturally, this date is more significant than the one before it, though by no means is it meant to discredit how amazing Zambrano was against the ‘Stros last September, which is why it’s only fair to rank the games back-to-back.

Anywho, I was sick this day, so I took the day off from school. Whenever I did that, considering both my parents worked, I would be dropped off with my grandma and grandpa. My grandpa had to paint the kitchen that day, so I decided to watch the game in the kitchen as the rain poured down outside so I could talk to him and watch the game with him. One of the best days off I ever took in my life.

What happened: Kerry Wood, with a 5.79 ERA at the time facing easily one of the best offenses in baseball, wasted no time attacking the division rivals. He struck out the Killer B’s at the top (Biggio, Bell, Bagwell) with ease, and had his first three strikeouts immediately. Well, Astros pitcher Shane Reynolds was just as dominant, striking out the first three Cubs he saw. Wood came into the second inning and struck out the side again, while Reynolds didn’t have the same luck. Mark Grace started the inning off with a double, which set the table for an RBI single from Henry Rodriguez, putting the Cubs up 1-0.

Wood continued to cruise, striking out ten by the fourth inning. He allowed a single to future Cub Ricky Gutierrez, though I disagree with the call to this day (as would my grandfather if he were still with us). It’s not Wood’s fault Kevin Orie misplayed that ball and bobbled it. Had it been ruled an error, Wood would’ve had a no-hitter. Either way, around the tenth strikeout, I remember I’d tell my grandpa “Wow, he struck out another!” before he finally set down the paint roller to watch the game (he had a better understanding of how special this was than I did). We watched him, strikeout after strikeout, in amazement of just how dominating he was. The Cubs offense, which was mostly quiet during the game, struck again in the eighth with a Jose Hernandez RBI single, giving Wood some insurance. Well, Riggleman tossed his 20 year old starter out in the ninth there with 18 strikeouts, and Wood seamlessly struck out two more (one to end the game), proving to be one of the most dominating pitching performances in the history of baseball. Cubs win 2-0. Funny how both dominating pitching performances came against the Houston Astros. Suck on that, Drayton McLayne.

#2 –September 27, 2003 vs. Pittsburgh Pirates (W 4-2, 7-2)

Where I was:
This is one date, but it was a double-header. I went back and forth multiple times deciding whether to put just the last game or both, but I figured since it’s so high on the list, I’d do both. The Cubs’ magic number to clinch a division title for the first time since 1989 was three going into the day, and with a double-header against the struggling Pirates, things were looking up for the Cubs, and the fans were very optimistic.

For the first game, I was at my grandparents’, watching the game with my grandpa, keeping track of everything going on with the division rival Houston Astros (who needed to lose that afternoon). For the second game, we returned home on that dark, gloomy early-Fall Saturday evening, which was a very relaxing experience, despite the tension surrounding the game.

What happened: Wrigley Field was louder than I’d ever heard it before (even louder than the 1998 Wild Card game), and the fans were scoreboard watching all afternoon. With Mark Prior (17-6 at the time) starting, fans were very comfortable with the first game, and they had every reason to be. The game was a pitching duel between Prior and Pittsburgh starter Josh Fogg until the fourth inning, when Prior allowed a solo homer to Pirates power-hitter Craig Wilson. This happened to be the inning where the Brewers put up a few runs against the Astros, and when the scoreboard changed in center field at the end of the inning in that game, our game paused to let the fans exert their fanatic energy. The place went bonkers (for lack of a better term), and clearly helped give the Cubs momentum.

In the bottom of the fourth, Fogg loaded the bases and allowed RBI singles to Aramis Ramirez and Moises Alou (who had a scary knee-to-head collision at second base, but remained in the game), giving the fans more to cheer about putting them up 2-1. It didn’t end there for the Cubs, though, with quiet-catcher Damian Miller leading off the fifth inning with a solo homer to right field. Fogg would again let runners on, and gave up an RBI walk to Sammy Sosa, putting the Cubs up 4-1. The game, for the most part, remained quiet (outside of Pittsburgh’s other run in the sixth), until the ninth. Wrigley erupted and the team delivered, with Joe Borowski shutting the Pirates down with the two men on for most of the inning (a homer would’ve tied the game). But a pop-out to Mark Grudzielanek ended Game 1, and with the Astros eventually losing, the Cubs’ magic number was now one.

So, Dusty Baker had faith to send out the same lineup for the night-cap (subbing Alex Gonzalez with Ramon Martinez, Damian Miller with Paul Bako, and Randall Simon with Eric Karros). The Cubs made the Wrigley faithful proud early on, with Sammy Sosa slapping a solo homer in the bottom of the first to dead-center field, giving the Cubs and starter Matt Clement a very early lead. This wouldn’t be the end of the scoring, however. The Cubs began a romp in the bottom of the second, with hits from just about everyone in the lineup and RBIs from Ramon Martinez, Paul Bako, and Mark Grudzielanek, putting the Cubs up 6-0 giving the 40,121 fans in attendance faith that this was the day the Cubs would end the magical 2003 season on the highest note possible.

Matt Clement made one of the finest starts in his career, shutting down Pittsburgh with just one earned run in seven and two thirds innings. The game was quiet for the most part, outside RBIs from Abraham Nunez giving Pittsburgh two runs in the top of the eighth. Of course, the Cubs decided to answer that (even though they didn’t need to) with Moises Alou hitting a solo homer over the wall in left-center field, putting the Cubs up 7-2. Dave Veres came in, and albeit running into trouble, ex-Cub Jose Hernandez grounded into a double play to end the game, giving the Cubs a Central Division title. The only time I can honestly recall crying in a baseball game, because after such an extreme uphill climb, the Cubs FINALLY made it where they needed to. It was an excellent double-header, and in a sense, was the first of many seasons to display this current Cubs era of dominance (four winning seasons in six years, three playoff appearances). Because this win left such a positive impact on Cubs teams in years to come, there’s absolutely no reason this game shouldn’t be #2. If you can give me a legitimate one, I’ll give you $50.

#1 – September 12/13, 1998 vs. Milwaukee Brewers (W 15-12, 11-10)

Where I was:
Let me preface this by saying, no matter how phenomenal that 2003 clincher was, it’s still WAY behind these two games for the #1 spot. Records were broken, the scores were abnormally high, and above all, they inched the Cubs closer and closer to where they needed to be in order to get into the postseason, as these were must win games. For the first game, I was essentially just lazing around the house, playing video games most of the day until the 3:00 start, before I rushed into the living room to watch the game with the family. For the second game, it was another traditional Sunday at Grandma’s for dinner and a Cubs game.

What happened: The Cubs lost the first game of the three-game weekend set against Milwaukee 13-11, with Milwaukee going on an early tear and sticking to it (not to mention exposing Don Wengert as a weak starter in the majors). After that devastating loss, the Cubs still had to fight, so they went into Saturday with Mike Morgan taking the hill. It was a nice start for the Cubs, scoring two very early in the second inning. But it was all down-hill from there. Morgan allowed eight runs in the third before even being taken out, courtesy of Jeromy Burnitz, Geoff Jenkins, and Bobby Hughes. The Brewers eventually scored two more in the top of the fifth, going ahead 10-2. Normally, this would be a reason to panic, but for these Cubs, it was just another reason to fight.

The Cubs began to stage a comeback in the bottom of the fifth, with Jose Hernandez slapping his 22nd homer of the season off Milwaukee starter Rafael Roque. The Cubs got two more in the next inning off a two run blast by Gary Gaetti, his 17th of the year. Milwaukee put up two more in the top of the seventh, going up 12-5, but the Cubs were by no means done scoring yet. Sammy Sosa, still in the home run race with Mark McGwire, hit his 60th of the year, a three-run liner tugging the foul line, trimming the deficit to four. Immediately after, Glenallen Hill hit his sixth of the year going back-to-back with Sosa and making it a three-run ballgame.

The bottom of the eighth came around with Tyler Houston coming up for Scott Servais, who replaced him earlier in the game. Houston homered making it a 12-10 ballgame. In the bottom of the ninth, the Cubs scored one on a Mickey Morandini RBI single, which eventually loaded the bases. Orlando Merced, who was signed by the Cubs mid-season but didn’t live up to expectation, stepped in at the pitcher’s spot to pinch-hit. After battling some pitches off, Merced cracked a deep drive to left-center field which went out for a walk-off grand slam. The Cubs won a seemingly unwinnable game by a final of 15-12.

Sunday came around and already it was one of the highest scoring series’ of the season (51 runs between both teams in two games). All eyes were on Sammy Sosa as he was only two homers away from breaking Roger Maris’ single-season home run record and catching up with his rival Mark McGwire. But not only that, the Cubs were constantly inching closer and closer to a Wild Card berth, and needed any win they could get.

Milwaukee jumped ahead quickly with a solo homer by Mark Loretta in the first inning. Fernando Vina hit an RBI double in the third that put Milwaukee ahead 2-0. The Cubs were ready, though, and once they figured out Brad Woodall, they attacked with six runs in the bottom of the third, courtesy of doubles by Steve Trachsel and Mark Grace, as well as RBI singles by Gary Gaetti and Glenallen Hill. In an instant, the Cubs were up 6-2.

After a solo homer by Jeromy Burnitz in the top of the fourth, the Cubs struck with two more in the bottom of the fifth, this time courtesy of Sammy Sosa’s 61st home run of the season, a colossal 480 foot blast to left. With an 8-3 lead, the game seemed to be in the books, but if we learned anything from the first two games of the series, it certainly wasn’t over yet. Jeff Cirillo hit a solo shot in the top of the sixth to narrow the deficit to four. Trachsel allowed his last solo shot in the seventh against Bobby Hughes, bringing Milwaukee yet another run closer. Trachsel was pulled in favor of Terry Mulholland who, while he very rarely screwed up in the course of the year, didn’t get the job done. Mulholland allowed four more runs which put Milwaukee ahead by one, and his replacement, Chris Haney, allowed one more on another homer to Jeff Cirillo in the ninth inning putting them ahead 10-8.

The bottom of the ninth came and it was crunch time for the Cubs again. After Mark Grace was retired, Sammy Sosa was up again and on a 2-2 count, pummeled #62 on another massive 480 foot blast to left field. The fans went absolutely insane, because not only did their beloved Sammy Sosa tie one of the most heralded records in all of baseball, but the Cubs were now only down by one in the ninth with only one out. Henry Rodriguez, who had a knee injury but was put in because the bench was short-handed, pinch-hit and doubled to right-center field, limping into second base before being pulled for pinch-runner Jason Maxwell. Just when you thought late-season pick-up Gary Gaetti could do it all, well, he did more, and drove in Maxwell on an RBI single, tying the game at ten. I never heard Wrigley Field louder than it was at that very moment. The game went to extra innings.

Rod Beck came in for the tenth inning and promptly shut down the Brewers in order, striking out two of them. The top of the order was due up for the Cubs in the bottom of the tenth, with Lance Johnson and Jose Hernandez going down quickly. The fans were excited, because if Mark Grace could get on, Sammy Sosa very well could’ve gone after home run #63, going ahead of Mark McGwire for the first time all season. Grace didn’t give him that chance, as he crushed a solo homer over the right field fence that won the game for the Cubs, appropriately enough on Gracie the Swan Beanie Babie day, no less. I remember being in the drive-through at Burger King with my mom and sister listening on the radio, flipping out in the car after he hit that game-winner. It was a very special game for me as a fan, and a very important one for the Cubs to win.

That was a spectacular series for the Cubs, and both teams scored a combined 72 runs in three games (the most I’d ever seen associated with the Cubs). Steve Stone said it best before the Sunday game, “Friday, Jim Riggleman felt like he was losing his best friend. Early in yesterday’s game, he felt like his friend had passed on. By the end of yesterday, he felt like someone bought him a new dog.” As silly as that is, it’s a great analogy, and an understandable one. A huge part of me wishes he still had the September 12th game on VHS, but at least I could salvage the September 13th game.

That’s that, Cubs fans. Initially I was going to make a list of five games that weren’t important enough for the list above, but I hold dear to me anyway. Well, I didn’t realize it was going to be this long, either! All I can say is, I’m sure this list will expand after this upcoming season, but we won’t know until it’s all said and done.

Pitchers and catchers report to Mesa, Arizona next Friday, and I couldn’t be more excited! Later all!

-Zach