"Sometimes, Life Just Gets in the Way..." - July 30, 2009

"...and there comes a time when you need to remember who and what makes and has made you the wonderful person that you have become."

This is an old quote of mine that I decided to dig up specifically for this blog. I remember saying this to a friend who was feeling down back in eighth grade, to try and cheer her up. She loved it so much she used it as a MySpace headline for a few months, and I saved it on my hard drive. I actually forgot about it a long time ago, but was cleaning up all my computer files and found it. I'm glad I never tossed it because of it's small file size, because it really is an excellent quote.

But why exactly did I decide to use it? Well, there comes a time when a person needs to take their own advice sometimes and realize that they'd left some things behind in their past, whether it be people, things, hobbies, etc. I'm guilty of that, and tonight has been one of those nights where you're left with nothing better to do than think about all those things from your past, and just how much you miss some of them.

And sure, life goes on, you meet new friends, you head in new personal directions and sometimes that overshadows what truly makes you happy, what continuously got you by on a regular basis regardless of what was going on in life. I'm trapped in the apex of that enigma. I love the new things I have in my life, the new friendships I've made over the last six months and the new routines I have with different people. But I also miss what I used to have with some people, and sometimes regret not taking more advantage of any time I had with them.

I'm also guilty of not writing on a regular basis. I haven't done a fun post in awhile, be it a countdown, a listing, or a simple life update blog which surprisingly became popular amongst a circle of friends. My last life update was on January 26, 2009. That was way too long ago, and honestly, I don't think there's any legitimate way I can cover February through July in a simple blog posting. What I can do, is throw some insight out there as to why I'm stressing these nostalgic anecdotes the way I am, and pretty much summarize my summer, like I would in a typical blog posting.

Back in March, I joined up with a new circle of friends in Adam, Rob, and Darren, eventually joined by Karolina and Alex, Rob's and Adam's girlfriends respectively. Usually I won't throw names out there in my blogs, but they're worth it, I'd say. I have to be totally honest, ever since I moved to Lockport back in 2004, I hadn't been happier to be a part of the group I was in, and frankly am still very pleased to be with all of them on a regular basis. And since March, we've done everything together, be it a trip to Chicago that marks up as one of the best days of 2009, blowing off air-horns on a memorable night (for me) in April, and just hangin' out with them as much as I could until summer rolled along. March also saw me reconnecting with others as I had just started using Facebook constantly, such as Dan and Andy, so that was always a plus.

I met some new people through them, be it at school or when we would just hang out. It was nice to be surrounded by people I could be obnoxious with, to be immature with, and to just have a good time with.

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Then summer actually came. I found myself with a pretty busy schedule, so I was often dividing time with them to do other things, either with family or friends I hadn't seen in awhile. So things looked to be very good: A summer spent with the circle of friends I'd had the past several months, seeing older friends, baseball games, concerts, and a ton of other things. I had a nice preview in Peoria seeing a Chiefs game and fireworks afterward, certainly a positive way to start things off despite one more week of school.

My first week consisted of a Cubs game which we lost 8-2, a baseball game for Kendall's baseball league, and taking Laura out for her birthday (which was especially nice because as time went on we saw less and less of each other, so I was glad I could do something nice for her and actually hang out with her for a change). Chickenfoot also came out that day, which maintains significance because ever since it was released, it's all I've been listening to. Still on heavy rotation over here.

As the second week rolled around, I had plans to stay overnight by Dale's leading into a Cubs game I'd attend with my uncle on that Friday (June 12th). This slightly complicated my dream summer of doing everything I possibly could, because I had a game in Kendall's baseball league while I'd be up there, and also had people wanting to do stuff, toward which I had to reluctantly decline. But it was nice at Dale's, great to be back in the old neighborhood just relaxing, easing my mind. Reconnected with someone who I've come to really respect through MySpace during that stay up there, and forged a relationship with her I'm rather proud of now.

That Cubs game with my uncle was one of the worst I ever attended. It was the game where Milton Bradley threw the ball into the stands with only two outs instead of three? Yeah, beautiful. Cubs lost 7-4. But the day wasn't a total loss, as we went to see "We Believe - Chicago and it's Cubs" at the Chicago Theatre at 10:30 PM for the premier, and little did I know my name was in the credits. One of the coolest things ever, and I'm so proud to have been a part of that.

About a week went by when I just chilled, went over to Brian's for a Cubs game (which was really nice as I hadn't seen him in awhile due to his being at college, and I'm glad I've been able to take advantage of his return home this summer). Hit yet another Cubs game on Friday the 19th, only in a direct parallel to a week prior, it was one of the best Cubs games I'd ever attended, coming back from a 7-0 deficit to win 8-7. Also luckily for me, Laura rescheduled her birthday party for the day after so I didn't miss it, which I would've come to regret eventually. I attended the party and saw some people I haven't seen in awhile, and despite some unnecessary drama, it was a very good night.

Later that week, I went over to Alex's with Adam, Rob, and Karolina for a swim, headed up to St. Dan's Carnival with Sean and saw some old frends despite the whole thing pretty much sucking, and headed to Milwaukee for a vacation at Summerfest and a Brewers game for awhile. Would be there for a few days, saw KISS which was one of the worst shows I'd ever seen, the Brewers lost 7-0 that day against San Francisco, and I saw Heart on our last night, who were very, very good. It was a nice vacation, though too long for my liking.

Upon my return, I headed over to Plainfield about an hour later to hang out with Katie, who I hadn't seen in a VERY long time. We made a nice day out of it, watched Juno, I listened to her Steve stories, and it was just really nice to catch up with her. After heading home, I had to go pack again, as I would be heading up to Summerfest yet again, only this time with Dale. We chilled on my first night there, Danielle came over and we played Mario Kart with chocolate all over my shirt (long story), and just watched Frasier and Whose Line after she left. The next day, we went to Summerfest and saw Whitesnake AND Judas Priest in the same night which was sick as hell (despite the women and scents leaving much to be desired compared to the last two years). We came home, relaxed, and sure enough, it was already the Fourth of July and I was back in Lockport!

The Fourth was a relaxing day with family, as was the fifth. I spent most of the sixth on my ass before heading over to Rob's with Adam to play some Nintendo 64. On the seventh, I went to yet another Cubs game, my last one to date, which was a really embarrassing 2-1 loss. The next day I went to Brian's to watch a game, then the NEXT day I had to go see a specialist for my throat, which apparently had a scratch on it. By the end of the weekend, it had healed fully. I went to Dave's party that Sunday feeling much better.

Thank God for that, because that Monday was the Green Day show, which was nice because I talked to Stacey a lot before and after it. Sadly, I hadn't talked to her as much (or seen her at all!) as I'd have liked to over the course of the summer, because I'd still say she's one of the closest friends I have. But it was nice to get back in touch with her, that's for sure. And the show was incredible. One of the best concerts I ever attended which is surprising, because I was always a moderate GD fan. Safe to say that changed after that show.

The next day was a beach trip with Adam, Alex, Rob, and Karolina, which I decided to treat them to as an attempt to make up for all the times they invited me to things that I couldn't make. Basically showing my appreciation. Sadly, there was some stress. I won't throw a name out there but a friend really wanted to go, I just couldn't fit him in for one and for two I thought he was busy. I really felt bad about it, and I hope he realizes I wasn't trying to be an asshole. In spite of that, it was an excellent day.

Later for the weekend, it was Blackhawks Convention at the Hilton with my uncle, first time I'd ever gone to that. The event was a disaster, but I did pull off a nice haul with autographs that I'm very proud of. I also got to hang out with Lauren there for awhile, which was really nice because that's one of those relationships I managed to re-establish in March via Facebook. So it was a successful weekend, that's for sure.

Last Wednesday, I went to Cruefest with Adam, Alex, and Rob, and I must say the bands this year were so much better than last year. And Motley sounded very good too. Very nice day on a very nice view from the lawn. Luckily the weather held up as well, and turned out to be a beautiful evening. On Friday, I went to Katie's again and we just caught up, which again was very nice. Saturday I went to Sean's block party and once again saw some great friends I rarely get to see. Sunday I helped my uncle clean (part of) his basement. Since then, I've been very relaxed, just taking it easy. Except for Tuesday, where I spent another very nice day with Laura, and got her into Best in Show and Frasier, hah.

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One thing I've learned throughout this summer is that you can't please everybody, no matter how hard you try. And I learned that the difficult way, trying to do more than even I myself could handle. Take Kendall's baseball league for example. I felt terrible that I didn't participate and live up to the promise I made for that, but ultimately, life just got in the way. Or with Adam, Rob, and Darren. I always wanted to do stuff with them, but ultimately, life just got in the way.

I lead several different lives. I live a Lockport life, a Chicago life, and a family life. This year has been harder than ever to manage all three at once, and it's become rather stressful. Maybe some of it's a good thing, that a lot of people want to do things with me and keep me around. But it's also a bad thing because sometimes I just can't fulfill that. Which is why there will be times when I try and make it up to them, and it's usually a success.

The fourth "life" that I used to update regularly is the love life, which is complicated. These days I'm just going with the flow, waiting for something to come my way, and trying my damndest to not dwell on anything. Of course I have my interests, and one of them may know who they are, but I'm still searching for someone I can get into something serious with. It's a void in my life I feel needs to be filled.

What does the rest of my summer hold? Well, it's more chill, that's for sure. Saturday I have a Fire game (and an extra ticket, anyone want in?), next Friday is the long-awaited Chickenfoot concert, the Sunday following is a baseball game with Sean, and then the Thursday afterward is a Cubs game with my uncle. There will be other things sprinkled in there, I'm sure. But that's the main outline of August.

Then, school begins on August 19th. Whoo-hoo! (note the sarcasm)

But the overall moral of the story is: Sometimes life just gets in the way. I have still been getting in touch with some friends through Facebook, like Nikki and Cait, people I haven't spoken to in a very long time, and it's really nice catching up with the likes of both as I truly have missed them, among others. I outlined those two because I considered both to be very good friends of mine awhile ago, and it's nobody's fault we would stop talking. Life just got in the way, and that distanced all of us. It happens. It's nice to know I was missed, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual knowing I missed them.

This blog also symbolizes the one thing that will always make me consistently happy: Writing. Something I've neglected to do when it comes to my life over the past six months (even though I remained active with Cubs blogs among others). And I'd forgotten the great therapy it happens to be. I seemed to have had a prophecy tonight, one which answered a lot of the questions I'd been seeking answers for the past couple weeks.

I spoke earlier of revisiting older things that once made you happy or filled voids in your life, and catching up with certain people recently have helped that. Then I spoke of the new friendships which are still there and life is in continuous constant motion forward. But I neglected to speak of the middle ground. On Tuesday, I spent an entire day with Laura (and part of it with Dave), one of the best friends I've ever had in my life, and can't remember how long ago it was since I felt that kind of happiness. Later on that night I talked to Brian deep into the night as I have every night this summer, texted Dale as he's on vacation, commented a status of Dave's, talked to Bittner this morning, and talked to Sean earlier today. The two others who've been around me forever and have always been great to me, Katie and Lauren, I'm sure I'll talk to later on.

It's that balanced medium that I like the best: The things and the people who have always been there for you. The one's who've always consistently reminded you why you're still here and why you do the things you do. And why everyone has the wonderful person inside of them, because there's always someone or something who wants to keep them near.

As cheesy and cliche' as that may be, think about it. That's my sign off.

-Zach